Cross Dressing & Trapping

Clothes and such are fine, but I'd look into working on maybe figuring out if you really are trans or not. What would you think if your parents found out? Would they be willing to get you into talking with a therapist over such matters?

Also, for clothing, I tend to buy a lot of what I wear at local thrift stores. It's awkward at times, but if you have a friend who can help you, it's a lot more comforting, and less of a fearful "person who knows me might find me."

Really, "it's for a costume," or "It's for a play" really answers any doubt in a stranger's eyes. So you can go to any store and pull that.

I'm in college though, and I live away from home. So I don't really care if the shop clerks think I'm weird or not. They'll look at me weird at times, but they mostly just don't care when you get down to it.

My dad is openly gay and super open. He wouldn't care but but mom is an evangelical pastor. She's not homophobic but anything even beyond faggy and she gets all judgemental. I think I'm trans but I don't know HOW to know for sure.

Try talking to your dad about it then. Being sure is something that comes with the help of hours of inner reflection, experimentation, and usually a lot of counseling.

You don't have to rush your way towards it. I grapple with the fact I have doubts even today. Most of us do, I think. Gender isn't that set in stone, and while I do like being a girl, I hardly think that I act girly enough to be one a great amount of the time.

On the subject of clothes, can anyone give me a link to that site that sells long socks?

Also, I really want to buy a garter w/ the leggings. Does anyone know of a reputable seller? I've only ever bought stuff from one place, but they don't sell that kind of thing.

Learn to be comfortable with yourself, and accept you for who you are. Corny, I know, but it is possible even if you have little or no support, like me. You might have one supporter though in your father, which might make going down the road even easier. Keep in mind transgender is a very broad concept, and gender and gender identity is very muddy anyways.

As for garters, Fredericks of Hollywood has them. Also, the brick and mortar stores are extremely trans-friendly, but they do also have them on the website.

Spend a good bit of time introspecting, find out what you want in the long run, and consider all of your feelings. If you try too hard to logic your way through it, well I found that there comes a natural doubt with logic, as your mind will produce plenty of excuses as to why you -shouldn't- transition, but it can't defuse why something simply -feels- so right.

I've talked with more than a few people about a sense of identity, there is no sure way of really knowing. I find everyone has there own little self-identifying niche. Some people, "have always known" while others (like myself) one day just kind-of figure it out "hey, this all makes a lot of sense for some reason" even others take their time to consider it over the years until they are sure what's right for them. Just, go with what you're comfortable with and don't force anything.

As for myself things made sense in that I dreamed of being a girl, I was never opposed to the idea of possessing female anatomy, and I crossdressed because I felt like it. I just felt 'right' in girls clothes, and I ended up exploring that in explorative social settings (Halloween, parties, etc.) I ended up really liking it, and figuring it was proper for me.

Also, talk to your father, he'll probably listen and/or help in useful ways.

I've never had a problem finding colorful knee-highs at Target, but I'm not sure if that's what you're asking.

So I'm constantly seeing posts asking for places that sell specific female clothes items. "where can I get long socks" "Where can I but a garter belt" (nothing about who posted those requests, just closest examples I oudl think of) and I'm always a little confused. I mean, buy clothes where girls buy clothes. Target, Walmart, Kouls they all carry the cutest things and everything requested is usually there (I bought a garter belt from a Walmart before) One of the things about passing is having the clothes that every other girl is wearing, so you don't stand out. Find out where girls your age shop and see, everyone has a web site so you can check online, then you can even go in with a print-out of what you want, shopkeepers usually think you're picking up something for someone else when you have it written down, so no need to feel uncomfortable. When I was younger I bought clothes all the time and I was really nervous about it until I realized in a place like target, no one really notices, you can go about it without worrying about anyone, but go to a small shop and you may be the only one there and get more attention that you really want :)
Anywho, just thought I'd throw that out there

>>61

There are radical feminist segments which actually loathe MtF transfolk because they see it as a paternalistic conspiracy to reset gender roles by out-femaling females, and ensnaring lesbians and bisexual women into actually heterosexual relationships. I think there's a feminist festival which is notoriously known for it's "Womyn-born-womyn" only policy.

>>70

Yeah, but those people are a tiny tiny minority.

well it depends a lot also on how you already express yourself, and if you are dating a girl/boy..

I mean, I crossdress in public, so I wouldn't have that problem, but agian that raises the problem of girls/guy not wanting to date me due to crossdressing, a lot of girls think it's cute but a lot of girls think it's odd and weird when a guy is more girly then them. And it's so much easier to end up in the friend zone with a girl then it is to get closer.
Anyhows, i guess a lot depends on who you date, it'd be easier to tell a man then it is to tell a woman, regarding dating, since if you date a guy, you'd be with a gay/bi guy, and those are a lot more open then straight guys to acceping this, atleast in my experience. As for women, it could be somewhat more of a shock and surprise. And might even put them off.. so before telling, you should dig around a bit and poke your nose in their thoughts, finding out their oppinion on crossdressing and such and what they think about it..

I guess what I would do would be to just mention it pretty early, cause if she then didn't want anything else to do with me, it'd save the pain of starting to get fond of eachother and then finding out she doesn't like you for it.

>>97

Yeah I agree with that. I came out when I got to college and tried to pick up on dating anew, but soon realized many of the girls I would almost be willing to ask out think of me as just another one of the girls. Really sucks.

I got a girlfriend a month ago, actually, but she tried to keep me from cross dressing, telling me that it was either that or her. Pretty much had to break up with her after that...

>>104 a quick tip (from my own experience) : Try to date bisexual girls

>>106

Easier said than found.

>>109 ok, agreed, it IS difficult :) I found some in scene locations, though. Just watch out for that "still interested" look when your eyes meet. works for me.

>>106
I try, but it's hard to find them. they don't wave flags or carry neon signs that say "I'm Bi!" all the time.

>>113
There is a litmus test.

Plant your lips on theirs. If they kiss back, you're set!

>>114 lol :D :D

Another thing that worked for me: Simply wait and look, usually they have friends visiting them there (in the scene location) and by their actions when greeting them you can recognize them. An intense or even french kiss with a man is usually a good indicator.

Sounds silly, but i actually did that and it works. Takes some time, though.

also i just used hair removal cream foer the 1st time WOWWWWW this shit is great my chest is smooth as fuck

I need help with this too. Also, is there hair removal cream that can be used on the face? I have really fair skin with really dark hair, so no matter how close I shave, even shaving against the grain with a fresh 3 bladed razor, you can still see hair :< I was hoping maybe that and foundation could make up for it before I can get something like electrolysis done.

Some good reading that might be of some help:
"Making Faces" by Kevyn Aucoin; widely read, very detailed
"Color Me Beautiful" by Carole Jackson; to find what works for you
"Miss Vera's Cross-Dress for Success" by Veronica Vera; a general info book and personal favorite of mine
"Make-up Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make" (web)

And, if you hit up some vids on youtube, that's a good place to get some tips and tutorials on makeup. I know some sites also have a lot of makeup tutorials, but I can't remember the links right now..
Asking a girl who is your friend is also a nice way, if you can.