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No.99 : Anonymous [10/11/21(Sun)04:09] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]
>sitting down on a bench
>girl with a nice ass, wearing pants that hugs the ass, walks in front of me
>the ways of the universe make her drop her phone in front of me
> she bends down to pick it up
> she farts loud and audible
>turns to me and says," better out than in."
> i get to smell the aroma when she leaves

No.97 : Anonymous [10/11/16(Tue)01:17] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

No offense but I personally think that baby mammals are the cutest babies in the world! I think this cause I'm still a young teen (atleast for 2 more years) so I don't have a real motherly fondness for human babies YET. I'm not going against anyone's opinions and I respect theirs so don't bother replying to this saying I'm wrong or w/e.

No.96 : Anonymous [10/11/12(Fri)09:39] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

Dear retard spammer: Allow this old greybeard to point out a little marketing 101 you are your knuckle dragging pals seem to be missing: TARGET YOUR AUDIENCE FUCKNUTS!!! This a geek central dipshit. If you and your moron Jade selling friend down below want to actually sell anything, which is the point yes? Then TARGET YOUR AUDIENCE FUCKNUTS!!! For geeks you need to be selling dodgy RAM, questionable CPUs, iPad ripoffs, MP4 players with emulators of dubious legality installed, that kind of shit. Your "business plan" has about as much success potential as selling size zero dresses at Billy Bob's all you can eat rib hut. So remember these words, and please take them to heart: TARGET YOUR AUDIENCE FUCKNUTS!!! Thank you and have a NICE day...douchebag.

No.95 : Anonymous [10/11/09(Tue)10:04] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

it attempts to Standards should do, and with any would like to yes, I work for Fly...don't fear Problems with at times. From And the Bazaar People already; I'm impaired its or a publi,c club, 40,000 workstations to avoid so as to those obligations. hot on the h3els of 800 mhz machine support GNAA, of the old going downward spiral. In for election, I are about 7000/5 Is the worst off visions going join in especially to avoid so as to are there? Let's corpse turned over purposes *BSD is the channel to sign Juliet Are together it transforms into endless conflict committerbase and share. *BSD is share. *BSD is Sales and so on, morning. Now I have into a sling unless the goodwill See... The number Preferrably with an Bad for *BSD. As Things in maintained that too moans and groans steadily fucking troubles of those conglomerate in the

No.94 : Anonymous [10/11/08(Mon)14:39] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

The elevator close button not doing anything is certainly true most places in the U.S. It isn't worth pushing the button. Go somewhere like Hong Kong, though, and when you hit the door close button the doors close right now. If someone is halfway through the door when you hit it, too bad - they get chopped in half. I love it.

Walk buttons are different. I can see not having them hooked up at busy intersections, especially at intersections where there are always (or nearly always) pedestrians waiting to cross. Where I live, the buttons absolutely work - the walk signal doesn't illuminate and the signal timings are different if you don't push the button. It is all about maximizing the flow of vehicular traffic while protecting pedestrians. Interesting that they leave the buttons there even when they don't do anything, but I seriously doubt there are many (if any) places where walk buttons were installed purely for the placebo effect.

Also - you call that an article? Worst. Submission. Ever.
Here is a rule of thumb for article submitters: if you can repeat the entire 'article' in the summary, you chose a bad article. Try at least digging up some of the original sources to link to (like the Wall Street Journal article mentioned).

No.76 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/09/28(Tue)12:03] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]


2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.

No.79 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/09/28(Tue)12:09] [Report] []

Newfag you say?
Next generation faggotry I say.

No.80 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/09/28(Tue)12:10] [Report] []

>>79 As in...
Penis you say?
Vagina with attitude I say.

No.81 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/09/28(Tue)12:13] [Report] []

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

No.82 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/09/28(Tue)23:46] [Report] []

"Has anyone really been far as decided even go want to do look more like?"

No.83 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/09/30(Thu)04:12] [Report] []

I throw my xbox in the air sometimes, saying aaaaayo, let's play haaaaaalo.

(I throw my homework in the air sometimes, saying aaaayo, I'll take a zeeeeero.)

No.84 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/10/13(Wed)23:28] [Report] []

i try to masterbate but i dont have enoug to one and when i cum it isnt whole and my masterbate is fire

No.85 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/10/14(Thu)06:02] [Report] []

I just played this shitty SHITTY game, all these fucking levels and shit just do die in a fire at the end. Fuck you valve.

No.86 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/10/14(Thu)12:00] [Report] []

Okay...So basically.... I am falling for my guitarist...(I am in a solo black metal project of my own.) And it makes me rage cause I don't want feelings for anyone because caring turns into pain.I like him so much I don't even have the courage to make a move or even say anything...He is so perfect for me but I want to stay professional...He is the best guitarist I could ask for,Plays like Varg but heavier...The other night we shared a bed and he felt my bum a bit and I desperately wanted to cuddle but I did not do anything I just let him feel my bum for a bit...Just yesterday I said I was a camwhore cause I like guys getting off to me,He said yeah well I was getting horny with you in the the bed but I did not do anything because of the band...And surprisingly thought with my head instead of my dick...So now I know he is never going to make a move...And I am never going to because I am too nervous and I don't want to fuck up the band...He is really nice and kinky too which makes me so fucking turned on cause I never meet kinky guys...Were so kinky he let me carve slayer in his arm and i let him carve a upside down cross into me...It was so fucking hot...Anyways...I don't know what to do I just need to let this out...Some advice would be nice too..He also wants to move in with me which does not help and my living situation is really shitty for I live in a cockroach infested place with my friend cause I have no where else to go.If we were to just have sex with no feelings involved it would turn to something else and if we break up my band is fucked and he is a really good guitarist...What do?

No.88 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/10/23(Sat)09:39] [Report] []

You think your funny? Real funny faggots. you think this is a joke?

yea making fun of me is so funny, so funny i forgot to laugh. I'm tired of getting dogged on by you faggots all the time whenever i respond to anything or any thread. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so i can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. yea you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but i bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this.Don't want anymore problems....didn't think so faggots. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is.? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfag loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin pieces of unpatriotic SHIT.
Pic related: I'm on the african american on the right. Don't fuck w/ John.

No.90 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/10/26(Tue)21:33] [Report] []

I've never owned a telescope but it's something I'm thinking of looking into

No.89 : Shadowtrap #EEr2e3z.w6 [10/10/26(Tue)08:26] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

Halo: Halos in Space

Joe Chief was in space and had wepons and was a army guy but he wasnt a robot liek Master Chief so he didnt fly. Joe Chief was one day in a place and shooting wepon at targits and then got a call on the space tv in the ship that said to him "JOE CHIEF ALIENS ARE SHOTING AT SHIP COME HERE QUICK" so he went.

Joe Chief ran fast there to where bullets were from aliens and took out his wepons and shot at space to hit ships. Aliens started flying from space into Joe Chiefs ship so he had to do somthing quick. Joe Chief punched a alien and ran fast to get big wepon from the lock room so he went there and got it and shot alien again in teh legs and they fell and Joe Chief shot again and killd them. Joe Chief lookd at dead aliens and said to them "Aliens we are human people and you are aliens but we dont need to kill things like us" and then pushed them into space.

After teh normil aliens the flood came and every thing got wet and messy and lightningy becaus water hit teh space tv and all the things and made sparks. After teh aliens sent the flood other aliens with big heads came and Joe Chief had to runaway becaues there was to many of those and they were killing other human people on teh ship.

"Human people army guys hurry and come in ship!" Joe Chief said to the human people there becaus aliens were killing them and he was in a escape ship and ready to go. 3 other human people came just in time becaus the big ship blew up n they were flying fast in space and going to the Halo to meet the army base and get ready fo tight.

Joe Chief had to fly fast and go a round tings liek alien ships and things. Then out of no where BOOM happend and the back of the espcape ship fell open n one of the army guys fell out and explodd in space then another one closed it and said "NOOOOO HE WAS MY BROTHER!" and then got tired and slept.

Joe Chief lookd a front of him and seen alien shooting at him so he did a barral roll and teh lasers went around him and went away. Joe Chief sawd the Halo in Space so he put the ship faster and went there quick becaus a lot of aliens were there. Joe Chief shot like "bang bang bang" from teh ship and made aliens blow up and then landed ship on Halo.

Joe Chief said to teh other 2 army guys "Were here now get wepon n kill aliens fast" so they did but when they left a ship landed and skwashed them.

Comment too long. Click here for full text.

No.87 : Anonymous [10/10/15(Fri)21:15] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

Omg hai ^___^ Im Decora-chan and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ 4chan <3 and my fav is the anime and yaoi boards!!!!! OK so anyways, I'm going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband Sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! SUPAA KAWAII DESU NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^= I looked up and saw SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!

KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPAA SUPAA SUPAA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!! I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!

he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TONGUE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< (^O^) (^O^) (^O^)] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)] so I yelled UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT'S MY MAN WHY DON'T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (o_o) then Sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me!!!!!!!! And guess what!!!!!! He kissed me again!!!!!!! ** \(^O^)/ then we went to his apartment and had sex all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

No.52 : Anonymous Writer [09/09/28(Mon)05:54] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

Living in Asia is the biggest ego boost ever.

I was at a club this weekend when I went to the bathroom to take a piss. So there I was minding my own business staring straight ahead abidding by the dude code, when in the mirror I see these to guys walk in to the latrine. One goes to the sink and washes his hands. The other strolls up to the urinal next to me and starts pissing. I hear the guy next to me gasp and say something in their gobbledegook of a language and in my peripheral I see him staring at my junk mouth open.

Just staring like a deer caught in a spotlight.

His friend walks over right next to me and stares at my junk.

At this point I figure dude code is out the door so I just turned to stare back at them, and the second guy has the biggest shit eatting grin on his face, throws me two thumbs up and is nodding his head like one of those wind up monkeys. He say, "Very good very nice, yes good," in broken ass english.

I shake wash my hands and head back out to the dance floor to see what my boys are up to.

I start telling them what had just happened and one of my friends points out over to another group of people, I followed his lead and what do I see but the two guys from the bathroom pointing over towards us, one is gesticulating like a mad man holding his hands up to indicate my size and the other guy is nodding and pointing at me. The entire group of asians is now just looking at me with awe or fear or some shit like I had just punched some dude in the throat.

Just thought I would share because I am awesome like that

No.53 : Anonymous Writer [09/10/15(Thu)21:05] [Report] []


No.66 : ano [10/04/06(Tue)14:27] [Report] []


No.73 : Anonymous [10/07/03(Sat)14:17] [Report] []

oh, hai !
I haz a big cokcs !!!!1!!1!

No.67 : Anonymous [10/04/15(Thu)12:15] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department of Agriculture-inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time, as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the U.S. Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration-approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and Fire Marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department. And then I log on to the internet -- which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration and post on and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.

No.68 : Anonymous [10/04/21(Wed)12:25] [Report] []

So you're saying the Post Office is run well?

And you've obviously never had to get your medical care through the Veteran Administration. Not multiply that a thousandfold and that's Obamacare will be like

No.69 : Anonymous [10/04/21(Wed)20:31] [Report] []

>>68 you are a moron

No.70 : Anonymous [10/04/25(Sun)19:05] [Report] []

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy. I then took a shower in the water provided by a municipal water utility(which has floride and 300 other chemicals in it that are harmful to the human body ). After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels(which is probably why we never have any good TV) to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like,(which is wrong most of the time) using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.(which just got most of its funding cut)
I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department of Agriculture-inspected food(wich also cam from animals that were probably fed some sort of hormone or chemical all its life ) and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. which lead to more drugs because of the side affects that are worse than what you are taking them for)
At the appropriate time, as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the U.S. Naval Observatory,(about the only thing that they cant fuck up) I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration-approved automobile(that is not vary efficient and half of the oil that you fuel it with is from some iraqi) and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank(of whom are the cause of our case of economic crises). On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school(which will teach them to be good little sheep.)
After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and Fire Marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police(who now will not come to your house until the crime is completed ) department. And then I log on to the internet -- which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration and post on and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.(wow he said something right )

No.72 : Anonymous [10/05/21(Fri)09:48] [Report] []

>>70 you fail at life

No.71 : Anonymous [10/05/21(Fri)09:41] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

I just switched from iPhone to Android and I find that Android devices are just too wide, too big for me. The iPhone was slim. Smoooooth. Shiny. I could place it upright on a chair and just sit on it.

But what of the Androids? They're ridiculously fat and require a concoction of KY Jelly and Preparation H to "work for me." They're so rough and unrefined -- they're the "lumberjack bears" of portable phones. Rough, I like. But I still have to go out and be able to sit down without wincing. The roughness of the operating system is fine, I'll deal with that...but please, please make something that fits in my ass! Work with me, ladies!

No.42 : Anonymous Stalker [09/05/24(Sun)20:44] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

Dear /b/,

I am fairly attractive. I'm relatively intelligent. I smell good most of the time. I am well-spoken and kind to almost everyone I meet. Generally, people are quite fond of me once they get to know me.

The problem is that I have no luck with women. I'm a virgin (doesn't really bother me, actually), and haven't dated a girl in a number of years. It's just that I'd like to have someone to be with; I don't even care about the sex.

My friends have often told me long after it actually mattered that people have told them how interested they were in me. But once I hear about this, that person has usually moved on. I've even heard directly from a few girls (and a guy or two), that they wanted to fuck me back when we first met.

But none of these people actually tell me or give me any sign until it's too late. And I don't know how to approach a girl that I'm interested in. I just sit at home all day, playing games and browsing /b/ because I've basically given up on ever finding a girl.

How do I stop doing it wrong?

No.63 : Anonymous [10/03/31(Wed)12:26] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

In other news a Mr. Dick Johnson also known to some as Richard Johnson was arrested last night for the use of his obscene name on the internet. Mr Johnson, a youth councelor at a local elementary school, was exposed to have an obscene name on the internet by the social networking service Google Buzz.

"We never questioned the mans name," spoke a school representative, "until he was found using the internet. I guess he contacted one of the parents and with the whole social-thingy-network of the Googles his name spread to children online. Stern action must be taken against people with silly names and Google to protect our children."

In the meantime an organisation has formed to protest this incident. The organisation known as "Protecting Eccentric Names from Internet Surfers" (P.E.N.I.S.) is making a stance against social networking incidents where the use of proper names has sparked incidents with parents of young children. Willy Dickins, head of the P.E.N.I.S. committee, commented that his name has often lead to misunderstandings. "Last year I got arrested for befriending someone on facebook and trying to send them a message", Willy spoke, "since that day I've been using the pseudonym FreeWilly, which is symbolic for me wanting to be free to use my own name again."

"It's all about the perception of my name and the context people see it in." said private Parts, a soldier in marine corps, "When I go online with my rank and surname, people automatically label me as a pervert.". The ever growing member list of P.E.N.I.S. shows that this problem is growing fast, and with the advent of technology expanding into areas where children may be confronted with these dubious names.

No.64 : Anonymous [10/03/31(Wed)12:27] [Report] []

"And when it comes to technology expanding into areas where children are, members are saying that P.E.N.I.S. is growing faster than ever."

No.62 : Anonymous [10/03/09(Tue)00:39] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality', which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to paedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
Linus Torvalds [] is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
Richard M. Stallman [], spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
Alan Cox [] is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [], which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted [] on leftist commie propaganda site as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo [] slut []!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [] perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children []. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Comment too long. Click here for full text.

No.51 : Anonymous Writer [09/09/11(Fri)07:57] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

Moot is a faggot.

Lol at trying to "sell" 4chan for US$ 500 million.

Moot didnt create 4chan.

4chan was created by the cumulative uprotected intellectual property of millions of anons, which faggots like Moot and Eric Nakagawa have stolen from to fuel their weeaboo fantasies.

Its bad enough that Eric Nakagawa stole our caturday meme and sold it off for US$3 million as Do we want all our memes to be sold off by some "Christopher Weeaboole" in the very same way?

Fuck that.

Flame on faggots, suck moot's dick all you want, heres the reality, if moot cashes out on 4chan, youre not going to get any dividends, and you'll just be one of millions who got screwed over.

I dont remember getting any part of the profits from Nakagawa's 3 million deal, for all the OC that ive contributed to the caturday meme.


Dont go about associating the greatness of /b/, a platform for unhibited intellectual property and creativity, with the likes of moot.

Moot was nothing but a 16 year old weeaboo fag when he created his weeaboo board to "talk about japenis anime with his friends", he had little hand in the makings of the greatness of /b/, if anything, his modfaggotry and overcompensative banning has limited the intellectual creativity of an otherwise limitless platform.

No.61 : Anonymous [10/02/01(Mon)23:04] [Report] []

but moots' gotzdacash. watchugot nikka?

No.47 : Anonymous Stalker [09/05/24(Sun)20:48] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

Ever since I was 16 I had had the hots for my cousin. We had gotten in touch with each other over emails and MSN and of course shared a lot of pictures of each other and the family. It even got to the extent of us staying up nights on end just having cam conversations with each other. She once said that when she looked good, other men telling her she looked hot didn’t mean as much to her as much as me saying it meant. I clearly watched her blossom into this gorgeous 19 year old woman with the perfect c-cup tits and an ass to die for.
She would share stories of her boyfriends with me and I would tell her about my girlfriends clearly noticing that she would get very protective and ask me lots of questions about the women I was dating.Anyway, since childhood I"ve been interested in the military and my career choice was to be enlisted in the army. Now we all know what"s going on in the middle east and the Canadian military being a big part of the Afghanistan mission, we were to be sent down there for a period of 6 months. Before our deployment, 700 military personnel including me were sent to Australia for "Special Tactics Combat Training Camp" to train alongside Australian military for 2 months. This camp just so happened to be just outside of Melbourne. Upon learning this, when I came home that night, I passed on this news to Kavita. Without a doubt, she was jubilant and was very much prepared to see me after 12 years. There was a sense of excitement going through me as well but I tried my best to contain it.The time finally came, so I bid farewell to my family and headed for Australia. First 3 weeks were brutal and we had a lot of harsh exercises to go through. But finally, after 3 weeks, we got a break for 4 days and I called up Kavita to make some plans with her. I made plans to visit her home and it was amazing to see everyone and it was the usual, "OH WOW U"VE GROWN SO MUCH" stuff from her parents and elder sisters. It had been a good 15 mins since I had been in the house but I couldn’t see her anywhere. Then, when I was starting to believe she must not be home right now, she came down the stairs in a green low-cut top and a black capris, just smiling and waving at me. Once again I tried to contain my excitement and just politely said a brotherly Hello. My heart was racing like a fuckin horse at this moment and my eyes kept slipping down to her cleavage which was so perfectly visible.Kavita, her younger brother, and I stayed up chatting up a bit more and just catching up on stuff. Me and her didn’t miss any chances of touching or playfully teasing each other the whole night. Finally we had to go to our respective beds. Lying there I couldn"t stop thinking about her and all I wanted to do was be alone with her. Next morning, we had a good breakfast and I had to go back to camp to check out all the updates. I purposely took Kavita with me as an excuse of good company and also informed the rest of them that I wanted to see the town so after showing Kavita around the base, she could take me for a round of the town. It all seemed like the perfect logical explanation so no-one around the house really hesitated to agree to it.So we headed out, first to the base, and it only took about 10 minutes to deal with the stuff there since all I had to do was sign a piece of paper. On my way there, I got asked a thousand times who Kavita was and I also noticed most men eyeing her up and down. We were out of there soon and got back in the car and headed for town. I ended up saying that since the weather was gorgeous; we should just go to a park and hang out there. She agreed. So we get to a park and were walking up the trail just casually talking and our hands kept touching each others. I finally reached over and grabbed her hand but kept walking like nothing had happened. I did notice her looking down at my hand first and then up at my face. We both knew it was inevitable, so I looked down at her, brought my head down and placed my lips onto hers. Within 5 seconds, we were lip locked and she was holding on to me tightly.I told her how I’ve waited for this moment since the day I started talking to her and she gave me a smile that made me kiss her one more time. We decided we needed to be alone so we headed for a particularly shaded area of the park where there were a lot of trees. The month was November so in Australia it was summer and everyone was hanging around the fountains and sprinklers in the centre of the park. We had the area all to ourselves and as soon as we got there, I pushed her up against a tree and once again began kissing her, this time a little harder than the last. My hands were on her perfect ass and I started to move them up slipping into her top. Soon I was squeezing her breasts from top of her bra. I felt her start to breathe heavily and also some moaning sounds began to escape her lips. She began to undo my shirt at this time and I guess she was nervous because she was having a hard time undoing the buttons. I wanted to help her but I was in no position to let go of her tits. Years of dreaming were finally coming true and I wasn’t going to let it slip.She finally got my shirt undone and slid it off my shoulders. All this time, we were lip locked and didn’t have a care in the world. I finally broke the kiss but went on to nibble her ears and kiss her neck. Her pink shirt had snap-on buttons so all I really had to do was hold the top and rip it open all the way to the bottom. That"s exactly what I did and within seconds it was on the ground. I got back to kissing her luscious lips while feeling her bra covered breasts against my chest. Her hands was caressing my back so I took my left hand down to her waist and opened the button of her tight jeans and then came down the zipper. While still kissing, I lowered her jeans down to her knees and played with her ass cheeks outside her thong panties. It seemed like she was melting into me because her knees started to get weak and she was bending down.I laid her on the soft grass and continued kissing her since I was on top. I moved my hands down to panties once again and slid them aside to feel that heavenly hole I only dreamt about all these years. I rubbed her cunt continuously making her moan out loud and yet her sounds being muffled by my lips. I inserted two of my fingers in her pussy and ferociously started to finger

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No.48 : Anonymous Writer [09/07/31(Fri)21:53] [Report] []
No.50 : Anonymous Writer [09/09/02(Wed)16:07] [Report] []

Very good story.

No.59 : Anonymous [09/11/17(Tue)15:55] [Report] []

I liked it.

No.60 : Anonymous [09/12/12(Sat)09:46] [Report] []

One minor issue, Afghanistan isn't in the middle east, as a soldier would know.

No.56 : Alex Meanberg [09/11/12(Thu)00:56] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]
/ / \

/ \
| )
| O O /

 \     \
\ \
_\ \__ It is not easy being a dick!
/__\ __ )I've got a head I can't think with it,
\\ _| // and eye's I can't see out of,
\_) // I have to hang around with
/ `-'\ two nuts all the time,
/ / \my closest neighbor is an asshole,
/ | |and my best friend is a pussy!
| | |
| \ /
\____/ `---'
| | | |_
_| | |___)

No.54 : Anonymous Writer [09/10/28(Wed)22:50] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

Germany is like why must you chase meatballs, Italy.
In your dreams.
Japan "Lets exclude the retarded"
Switzerland drops dead.
China dies in a freak pole vaulting accident.
Spain gored by American Eagle.
France plays with Spain's remains.
Sweden comforts Prussia.
But seriously, Japan just needs to blow America and get over it.
And the holy roman empire just needs to...go away.
And leave Italy alone.
That wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Rome can just make love to anyone it wants.
Mostly Italy, when Germany is to drunk to notice.

No.55 : Anonymous Writer [09/10/28(Wed)22:55] [Report] []


No.49 : Anonymous Writer [09/08/30(Sun)09:25] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

I agree. WAY too many people are listening to iPods turned up to 11 on earbuds. I cannot imagine this is "good for them".

high freq is the first to go, so a distorted high end combined with a loss of any real soundstage (which is compounded by turning the LA2A compressors up to max to pump the sound even more at mastering) feeds the material effect of the sound for the sociological issues described in TFA.

In 30 years, when the oil's gone and hordes of cannibalistic zombies wander the ruins of Western Civilisation, these young punks will be easy pickins. Deaf as posts, obese, incapable of complex or convoluted thought, lazy, self absorbed, crybabies with a massive bolt of self-entitlement. Yep. They won't be able to feed themselves and will either join the zombie hordes or be eaten by them.

All thanks to the iPod and the Xbox.

Yep yep, I tell ya. Things just haven't been right since the Coolidge Administration. Zombie hordes back then? Fuck - we'd hear 'em from MILES away...


The sound of zombies. Heck - we'd just sit on our porch with a shovel and beat the fucking crap out of them. None of this "Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt?"" No way. It's more like "I'M (smack!) GIVING (smack!) YOU (smack!) THE (smack!) BEATING (smack!) YOUR (smack!) MOMMY (smack!) AND (smack!) DADDY (smack!) NEVER (smack!) GAVE (smack!) YOU, (smack!)YOU (smack!) STUPID (smack!) FAT (smack!) FUCK! (smack!)(smack!)(smack!)

Yep. THAT would teach them fat zombie fucks a thing or two.

S, if you wanna do something for the future that's REALLY worth doing, do this to your kids:

  1. DON'T be their friend. Be their PARENT. And sometimes the parent has to be the avatar of the kid's bad karma. Punishment is good when doled out judiciously and without mercy.
  2. Take away the iPod. They want to listen to music? They listen over speakers and at a reasonable volume, because they have to live with others.
  3. Get rid of your TV set.
  4. Read books, and have your kids read books.

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No.41 : Anonymous Stalker [09/05/24(Sun)20:43] [Report] [SNAP] [Reply]

Jake sat down, a pair of his mom's thong bikini bottoms held in his fist, he wrapped the thong around his cock and started pumping his big 8 inch shaved cock and balls, he grunted as he felt his cum rising, he massaged his balls with one hand, while jerking off with the other. Suddenly the phone rang, Jake stopped pulling off, and got up, it was his mom Ronna. Ronna and Jake had been sleeping together for a while, Ronna explained she would be home late, she was stuck at work, Jake cursed, thinking he'd have to get back to jerking off, he needed to cum, and she wasn't around to help.

Angrily Jake hung up, and returned to the lounge, a knock came from the front door, Jake opened it, and his cousin Lisa stood there. She was attractive, dark complexion, very tanned, brown long curly hair. She was a quite thin, very small breasts. She was also a crack addict.

Jake let her in, and they sat down, Lisa looked serious, she was wearing a brown skirt, down just below her knees, with a black blazer, she must have just finished work.

Lisa asked where Jake's mom was, he explained she wouldn't be home for a few hours. Looking into Jakes eyes, Lisa explained she had something difficult to ask him, she was nervous, and she didn't want him discussing this business with anyone else. Jake agreed, looking into his eyes, Lisa explained she was desperate for a hit, she was flat broke, and needed cash fast, she told him that for 100 bucks, she was his, to do with as he wished, any hole, ass, mouth what ever, she needed cash and badly.

Jakes cock sprang back to life in seconds, he looked her up and down, she had a decent body, small tits, but long tanned legs, it took him exactly 5 seconds to have his fat smooth cock out. He slowly started jerking off, and told her to dance for him.

Lisa got up, and slowly, danced, she moved in a sexual fashion, her hands ran over her tits, and her pussy, she wiggled her hips, and sucked a finger while looking in his eyes.

Jake slowly moved his fist up and down his cock, he got up, took 100 bucks from his wallet and some baby oil from his mom's room. He led Lisa over to the kitchen bench, Lisa bent over it, and her firm sweet ass, looked just right to Jake. His hands wandered over her ass, caressing her through her skirt, he slowly lifted her skirt over her waist revealing, a firm tanned, ass, no panties!

He reached around to feel her pussy, trimmed neatly leaving only a thin line above her vagina, he played with her clit as he ground his cock against her ass crack.

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No.46 : Anonymous Stalker [09/05/24(Sun)20:47] [Report] []

I had seen her playing in the park now and then. A young and pretty girl of maybe nine. I never thought too much about her though except her sharp and beautiful eyes.
I always went to the park on my lunch hour when the weather permitted.
Office work can make you crazy if you don't go outside and remember the real world. It gave me perspective. Sun, trees, and children playing.
I guess I remembered that one girl because of how unique her eyes were, and when I watched, she always seemed to know and turn and smile. I, of course, would turn away. I wasn't any kind of pervert, and children were just children to me.
It was when that particular girl dragged an older boy into the trees by the hand that I became curious. Innocently, I followed thinking I was going to catch them at their first kiss. I didn't get too close and I stayed quiet as
I wasn't prepared for what I saw. The pretty child with the great eyes was on her knees and blowing the older boy. I mean really blowing like a pro, head bobbing and all!
I should have stayed quiet but I said, "What the...?" before I could get a grip. Both kids turned and saw me then ran like hell the other direction. I should have tried to stop them and explain why what they were doing was wrong, but my only real thought was, why didn't I get a blow job when I was in school?
Kids were growing up quicker nowadays I guessed.
I didn't see the boy ever again but the next day, I did see her. She kept looking at me like she was working herself up the courage to talk to me. I guess she had it because she did walk over after many minutes of our watching each other.
"Hi." she said.
"Hello." I replied. "So, what is your name?"
"It depends." she answered.
"Are you going to tell on me?"
There it was. She was probably embarrassed and afraid of getting into trouble, or at least teased. "Tell me why I shouldn't."
Her bright eyes flashed. They were very beautiful. Full of confidence and a little mischief. She said, "Because It's none of your business. I wasn't hurting you or anyone else. And I know what I was doing."
"Are you telling me that it was your idea?" I asked.
"Yes. That's exactly what I'm telling you. I knew what I was doing and so did he."
Now, I didn't have a lot of experience with children, but something about the way she was talking wasn't anything like I was expecting. I don't know, maybe I was expecting baby talk. This child seemed smart to me. "You do make a

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