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> Be me > Decide to kill myself since shit country> Go to hardware store> Pass Xray to enter> At least they didn't do the cavity search> Get some rope> Get to counter> Cashier says Ey Mayte ya need a level three security license for that> Left it at home> Can't serve ya mayte> Walk out of store> Local rozzers haven't caught me breaking the 4:30pm curfew> Turn corner> Walk into a group of five 15 year olds> All high on MCat, Whiz, Herion Cannabis and Spice> But even paracetamol are illegal> Get stabbed by bright green knife, smashed with a baseball bat and get jawed w/ brass knuckles> But even spoons are illegal> Also illegal to carry for self defence> Hospitalised> Didn't pay, but waited for 8 weeks to be seen and came out worse then I went in> At home now, 2am> Dindu breaks in> He rushes me with a knife> Have tiny rubber mallet next to me in my toolbox> Got a level 7 builders license motherfucker> Pick it up > Dindu stops, walks out if house and goes home> Mad> Throw mallet at window> Mallet bounces off, window fine> Get called to court 2 days later> Dindu is suing me for using something as self defence> I'm 5'7" 132 pounds> He's 6'8" 211 pounds> Grabbed it in heat of the moment too> Lose case, get sued for everything> Literally homeless> Die of starvation 4 days later since Dole isn't enough to even survive
> Walking home from friendly gun store> Just got some more ammo and a new glock> Dindu walks up to me and pulls a knife> Is a mugging> Punch him in face and back up> Draw gun> He fucking legs it in the opposite direction> Get home> Drinking beer and playing vidya till 2am> Different dindu breaks in> Oh hell no motherfucker> Grab 12 gauge and aim at door since he has to come through> He appears> Pull trigger> Redecorate walls brain red> Call police> Police arrive> First word the cop says is good shot> Feel happy as someone who can properly defend himself
And which country is called "Great"?