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What would happen if I only took Spiro for about six months. I know its a blocker so it would stop any more masculine changes from happening but would it also stop hair growth?
I'm looking for an Ultimate Trap Guide, and until I find it, I'll be asking you some questions...What exercises can I do to mold my body fat into a more femenine shape? All I know are sit-ups and push-ups... and they aren't working quite well.
Try harder. Also, pilates. But there should be a caution about trying to do the flat-out impossible... namely to think that all of your problems can be solved by some mythical feminizing routine.
ITT we talk about our jobs, and how they do/don't effect our crossdressing/ect.
used to work at Micheals arts&crafts :3 was the only boy out of the like 60 part timing moms and a few girls my age, I was offered a tech job at the time but refused because it was crossdressers heaven there, I got to wear an apron and all the women were constantly joking how I was just like one of them, they'd always put do my hair, paint my nails, put bracelets on me, and they'd always get together and dress me up as a maid or something on Halloweens...those were the days :3
but now i'm just a college student, so unless I can find myself loosing bets on purpose, I don't CD around school much
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...and I don't think you could pull it off in a law enforcement job. Not in a while.
I work in a small pharmacy and every once in a while I grow my hair out thinking that maybe I can get away with a new medium, clean, maybe dykish haircut my boss says something like "what are you, goin for the surfer faggot look?"
I liked it better when I worked in a retail place where everyone wore khakis, a company polo, and people would often call me "miss" from behind. Oh, except that job sucked and they went bankrupt.
Interesting topic, I work in magazine publishing and basically have a desk job... but since I enjoy being a writer/editor, it doesn't bother me. In any case, I do low-key crossdressing every single day (bra, panties) and a little more depending on the weater... now it's winter, so I can wear women's jeans, shirts, and turtlenecks (two turtlenecks, since Illinois weather is ridiculously cold right now...).
Interesting. I work in IT, and I've never once had any problem wearing whatever I like into the office, from whatever tatty old guy clothes to skirts & dresses. No one cares, and I've even got some compliments!
The difference may be that a) I'm not customer facing b) I'm in the UK and EU law makes any form of discrimination on the basis of gender illegal, not that I think my employer would in any case.
I work in IT and since I just got the job I wasn't crossdressing but today I went with nailpolish on and asked my boss if he minded but he didnt care xD. But since I work on the executive level there are alot of customers on that floor so he would check for me if the other executives had any problems with that. If I can go ahead with this I guess I'll gradually ask for more freedom... but I don't want to risk my job its too awesome, I might never get an oppurtunity like this again.
Well I heard from my boss that I can't wear nailpolish T_T so much for cd'ing at work. My boss is ok though because he doesn't care but because I work at the executive level there are many important customers there with hundred-thousand to million euro deals going on there...
Well on a sidenote today I came out to a bunch of collegue's about cd'ing (not about being tg) and one of them was (as I suspected) a ftm cd'er, and maybe more, and she was so sweet she thought I was brave for coming out and she wants to do my hair x3
She can get away with it because ftm's are less conspicious in the eyes of the society's standards and because she doesn't work at executive level. But it's ok I can live with not being myself a couple of hours a day if it gets me buckets of money ^.^
Ah, found it: Men are prohibited from wearing nail polish of any kind. Men may not have hair that extends below the neck. May not wear earrings of any kind. May not wear bracelets of any kind (and yes, people got sent home for LiveStrong bracelets). May not have any sort of body modifications. Men are prohibited from wearing any makeup. Men may only wear pendants if they are completely concealed. Only rings allowed are wedding bands.
It's pretty much BS, designed to find proverbial nails that stick out, and hammer them.
>>298 Thank god I'm a designer. At my new job half of the people are gay, and my old one was a friggin' newspaper so nobody cares how I dress.
There is this out though http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d111:H.R.2981:
I'm pretty skinny, but my shoulder are much wider than my hips, which makes dresses either so tight they rip in the shoulder area, or too loose around the waist. I have almost no body fat, but a little bit of flab kind of between my shoulder blades and my arm pits. Does anyone know any exercises I can do to work that area?
You could also option to take your dresses to a tailor.
On getting rid of unwanted body fat; it might help to develop a targeted workout routine to turn small pockets of fat into leaner muscle... pilates is excellent for doing this gradually. I've found myself recommending piltes a lot lately, but it's something you've got to stick with...
ddr will help you losr weight everywhere maybe
Here's a dumb question I'm sure you get ALL the time in here. How do I get a trap girlfriend? This is a rather legitimate request. You see...I've been looking for a trap gf since I was sixteen or maybe younger. I'm 20 now, and I've had no success. I just don't know where to look, I think. Or maybe I'm doing something wrong? So I'm looking for advice.
Thanks for your help, much appreciated.
Pics me, felt like being vain
As far as I'm aware the majority of traps are actually straight, that may be the problem. I go for both anyway, but each to their own.
>>390I mentioned this in another topic, but I can't remember where it was... In any case, crossdressing support groups are veritable hotbeds for dating activity (convenient whether you're lazy and desperate, or just looking for someone different and interesting).
Also, I hope your shoulder heals... looks like a nasty scratch.
>>393 Where do I find these support groups? I'm not desperate...I don't think? Well maybe, but only if it means that I'm desperate to really meet someone to potentially share a relationship with.
Is it picky or shallow that I'm looking for more of a passable trap? I like to go out alot and I want to meet a cute girl comfortable with going out alot too.
Yeah that healed into a badass scar, it's from falling onto a fence. I never take pics of myself so that one was an excuse.
>>394Here are a couple of resources that might be of some help in your search... there are support groups in more medium-sized cities in the U.S. than most people think. Happy hunting!
How do I attend a support group for trapping if I don't trap myself? I'm a straight guy looking for a girlfriend. Wouldn't that be prowling/stalking? ( yes I see the irony in my name, but I'm not an actual stalker )
>>424I hadn't really thought of that... but try contacting the group moderator first. Any support group worth its salt will interview you first, before allowing you access, anyways... the best way to find out, I could imagine, is ask. Of course, you'd be better off saying you're interested in teh transgender culture and in meeting new people, than saying your online handle includes the word "stalker," haha.
I've dressed up since I was about six. Always secretively. My older brother and I would raid my mother's lingerie drawer, and he would watch me dress up. I think she eventually caught on. One day, I found a pair of panties in my drawer. I knew what they were, and was too scared to wear them out, so after playing with them for a few days, I put them back in the laundry. I heard the conversation that my parents had when they found it. They had put the panties there as a test, and were disgusted by the results.
I live in the buckle of the bible belt, I never expect to be accepted. Thankfully, my wife does.
Sorry if this is depressing.
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gorgeous photo. just shows how these things can turn out.
I was always most interested in gathering first-hand experience from other roles. Those roles can be anything: teacher / student, giver / reciever, power / less power, knowledge / ignorance.
I think it's best to know how it feels for both sides, in order to be accurate in all your thoughts and actions.
(And, as always, the guiding principle is The Golden Rule)
That's not a mtf cd or even a transgendered male, it's a female. Just an fyi, it isn't the poster.
Really? Who is it then? I've never seen this person before.
It's either faux or cracky, I can't remember.
>>381 it's neither. dipshit.
>I probably would be TS if I lived in a different area, or if my parents would accept the idea.
being TS doesn't work that way, you either are or aren't it has nothing to do with what other people think.
Hi, eurofag here. Today my world has been rocked. I am gay and never had any feelings (physical and emotional) for women, i am as gay as can be (pure bottom btw). Anyway today i met Andrea. Everybody thought she is a lesbian or bisexual (including me). We sat together for a long time and hugged each other and well, things developed itself and suddenly we were kissing and touching each other (in a Scene-Bar, btw, imagine the weird looks of the other gays and lesbians). Well hours passed and we kept on cuddling each other. I was TOTALLY confused as i normally do not have any feelings for females, however i have had several TS in my arms already and knew they were partially male,simply by listening to my inner sensor. And NEVER had any feelings for women. Imagine my confusion!!!I thought: OMG, after all those years i'm suddenly bisexual, wtf!?OK, we went home to her and kissed and hugged and she told me that she is not homosexual, not heterosexual and not bisexual. Which left me a bit confused :o She then showed me a picture of a plant and said, i am not a woman neither, more something like that (and pointed to the picture).tldr: Andrea is a transgender person. Which is perfectly fine with me, i like Andrea, nothing else matters.However i need any help i can get from you as tomorrow we will meet again and i want to avoid any silly mistakes i could possibly make. And trust me i am excellent at making silly mistakes, so please help me: What are the DO's and DONT'S in this case?
p.s.: Thanks for pointing me to the correct board, S. :O
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>>24Technically that's intersex. Transgender is kind of an umbrella term i.e. it refers to many people of different groups.
Yes, intersexual! Thanks. Anyway, the problem/topic has evolved and changed , so my question is no longer valid. Call me pansexual now :O
>>23 i like Andrea, nothing else matters.
>>154 Look on the bright side. At least you aren't a flaming faggot anymore. Maybe you will even avoid hell now!
Does Andrea have a vagoo?
What does the plant has to do with this being?
Is Andrea an ET O_____O?
Or a plant-humanoid-being? or wat? Why did she show you a picture of a plant? Now, I am confused.
A plant? Some plants have seeds, some have fruits, some can also clone themselves and some have sperm
What wat is this gender then? very curious!
And as for sexuality, I really think we are all completely multisexual in our root/source.
>>214Plants have both sex organs.
>>231Depending on the plant, possibly both sets.
Not all. Some are male and some are female too. Some have no genders or sex organs.
Y'all niggers posting in a troll thread.
hey there fellow fems, I'm wondering if you've found some sneaky ways of washing tights when you live with your family who's always using the washing machine. I wish I could just throw them in with a load of my normal clothes when nobody's using it.
OK, so... I'm 19 and into cding for quite some time, and now I'm thinking about stepping into it, but I have lots of doubts and was looking for some ideas/advice.
First of all my parents are REALLY close minded about everything, so that and the fact that I can't move for at least some years limits lots of things that I can do...
I already shave myself, but I don't shave the legs completely as it's kinda hot in my country during summer and I can't use long pants all the time, so they would notice if I just showed up with shaven legs... any ideas on that?
Second, what to use for shaving? I've been using razorblades for quite some time, but I guess it is not the best method?
Third, does the "it's for my girlfriend/for a costume/etc" line work by your experience? I am quite shy and thinking about store clerks giving me weird looks makes me feel bad...
Four, is there anything out there that I could use to smoothen the skin (not hormones) and is not too expensive?
Five, for those of you who have to hide it, is it too hard or you can easily go without raising any doubts?
I guess that's all for now, and thanks in advance for any help! :D
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Oh, thanks so much for your information!
I've been already shaving my intimate parts, and today I've done my eyebrows and armpits, leaving just the legs, which 'consequences' are still scaring myself =(
It will still be some time before I get any clothes, and then perhaps I'll post some pics =p
I'll be looking for shaving creams and lotions. And I'm thinking of hiding those things inside some empty vg boxes that I have in my closet, no one ever mess with them...
Again, thanks for you help!
When I shop I just go to department stores where there aren't any attendants, really. You're usually free to browse, and if you go during the day, it's not crowded and you can try things on without any strange looks.
>>81OMG i would be SO happy if i could try things on. sadly it wont happen in my town...
Some stores have self-check out lines, that's what I plan on doing the first time I actually go out and buy clothes and then wear those clothes to buy from a clerk.
I'm having trouble thinking of places to hide clothes in a college dorm though.
>>139 Mattress, deep recesses of your drawers and closets. With friends.
>>139You should have an assortment of bags, suitcases, and/or boxes if you're in college... if so, make use of them and label them inconspicuously... or don't label them at all.
>>>I'll be looking for shaving creams and lotions.
Some stores have better selections than others, naturally. I've always found Walgreens a good place to start, because they have such a wide variety of lotions.
Aveeno lotion is really good, although their exfoliating face wash dealie really irritated my face.
Anecdote on being noticed for shaving: My arm hair used to be disgustingly long, longer than on a lot of men's heads. So at one point I shaved it off completely. Shortly afterwards I was at dinner with my parents, and my dad suddenly staring at my arms and freaking out facially and made a pretty big deal of it. Both my parents continued to hound me about it (and other shaving) afterwards for awhile.
>>227Interesting story... My ex-girlfriend went ballistic when she found out I shaved my legs.
Might have been nervous you'd turn gay and abandon her or something. Considering she's an ex then perhaps her worries weren't entirely unjustified. ;)
I told my mother that my armpit hair was annoying and itching me so I shaved it off. When I showed her how terrible the job was, she wanted to help me pluck out the hair.Didn't tell her why I really shaved off the hair, of course :)
So, this is pure speculation, but It seams to be that cds are mostly straight and trans genders are mostly gay.(after the switch i.e: mtf likes girls) Now, granted, explaining sexuality is like explaining politics,(in the end you'll end up more angry and confused then when you started) But is there a reason for this? To me it seams a bit weird, if you're so set on being like the other sex why wouldn't that include their sexual attractions?
in b4 science is hard and lurk moar
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fwiw, sexual orientation and sexual activities do not have to be identical either. Amkes it even more complicated
about >>29 I rather think it has to do with the fact that they understand them better as they ARE in fact female. Just like me >>27
A girl once told me i am the best kisser she has ever experienced, what she did not realize was the fact why i was that good: I know exactly what a woman wants because i feel like one, too.
Well, I can't really provide many answers here, but just to add my own observations:
Personally, I'm Bi, non-CD (But would have no issues at all dating CDs or TGs).
I don't know any CDs, but the only TG I know (FtM), is Bi.
As for the observations, I can't actually speak for TGs, but I'm generally under the impression that A) Feeling like you are a gender, despite your actual sex, doesn't need to include that gender's typical sexual orientations.And B) Most TG people tend to be rather open about sexuality in the first place to even take the steps that they have, which I would guess would make the trend lean more towards Bi/Pansexuality more than anything else. That's just a theory though.
And a side note, from the OP:"but It seams to be that cds are mostly straight..."
I can't attest to the truth of this, but I hope not. ^_~
Wait, wat? CDs undressed, mostly straight. CDs dressed, I don't care what anyone says, mostly bi. Autogynephilia, while no one buys into Blanchard's absurdly strict definition, does go a long way into explaining the palpably strong undercurrent of CD bi behavior when dressed.
Pre-op MTF Transwomen, mostly bi. Yes, you have the married types trying to stay straight (ironically, so many attemping to conveniently re-arrange their wives into lesbians, just so they don't have to think about teh cock); but for the majority of those, crossing over is just a matter of time and place.
And yes, there are pre-op transwomen that hate teh dick so much that they cultivate gg lovers, as >>29 so aptly pointed out. But if you're looking for axioms, the majority of pre-op transwomen are bi- or bi-curious.
Post-op MTF Transwomen, mostly straight. Do you have any idea how many post-op transwomen are stealth? It's like the dark matter in the universe. The few that aren't naturally tend to be more visible. Duh.
Ghey male drag queens, mostly gay. Huhhr duhhr. I've found that most will admit to at least one straight liason in their lifetime with a gg, tho.
I dunno, this is just so much bullshit IMO.
Sexual orientation doesn't change depending on whether a crossdresser is dressed or undressed. What a retarded theory.
A CDer might be bi with a fetish for getting fucked as a woman by a man, or straight or whatever but the idea that orientation changes with the outfits? Fucking puhlease nigga.
I've heard crossdressing and/or being transgendered comes from wanting to be desirable, and as a straight persons idea of being desirable is a woman, this is why they dress in female clothes or seek transition.
As a transgendered individual, I don't agree with this theory. But it would answer your question if it's true.
>>169I think (for me at least) wanting to be desired like that is part of it, but the bigger issue is wanting to be perceived as a woman, not just wanted that way.
i think its all based on the individual, im a CD 80% of the time (the other 20% being buisness and school..) but im gay as can be. i cross dress not because i want my partner to think of me as a female i dress that way because it just feels more natural to me.
In general, "classic" or "true" transsexuals (lifelong gender dysphoric symptomology, etc etc), not including the entirety of the transgender spectrum, have certain commonalities.
>>188Dammit, hit return by accident.There is a marked disparity between mtf and ftm transsexuals, in the area of professed sexual orientation. That is, ftm transsexuals almost overwhelmingly identify as straight (that is, interested in women), and mtfs largely fall along the same lesbian/straight ratios of other women.My theory is that mtf women have much, much more media exposure to people like them, as well as a greater social awareness of "role models," leading to more mtf transsexuals coming out in the first place. The majority of transmen who come out had exposure to the concept of options available to them, as well as role models, in lesbian women's communities. As a result, most of those who come out are already interested in women.This, along with the lack of public awareness of transmen, also goes to explain the massive disparity between out numbers of transmen vs. transwomen.Stop looking for causality, and look instead for social settings.
Well, wow, didn't expect suck an ephemeral discussion here, but here goes :)
For No. 15, that's just not right. Hormones can change your sexual DRIVE, but not your ORIENTATION.
At first No.29's statement outraged me, but after thinking about it there may be a bit of truth to it. As a transwoman myself I woudl like to think that isn't the case, but knowing many other transwomen I can say I see what coudl be considered this behavior a lot. I think a lot of it has to do with how adjusted the transperson is. I consider myself pretty well adjusted, therefore a lot of these issues arn't mine (don't worry, I have plenty others) but I do feel that many M2F transpeople have multiple layers of issues, and part of that stems from rigid gender/sexual definitions we live under. (even defining yourself as transgender can be too confining for some)
As for my observations, well, I think that the majority of F2Ms I know or have met are straight (interested in women) and the majority of M2Fs are gay or bi. I myself identify as a gay woman. There are not really ang conclusive studies of the trans population as a whole to tell us more, but I do know of some people working on doingthat research, so I guess we'll know sooner or later.
i was just wondering what other cders here thought about sex with the opposite gender while dressed, which would mean with the same biological gender, i suppose. here's the thing. i've always been bicurious, to say the least, and have fantasized about being with a man but only while crossdressed. i finally got up the courage to meet a guy i met online, and ended up going to his place. i gave him a blowjob, and i liked it an all, but what bothers me is i really wasn't aroused while we were hooking up. like he tried to give me head, and i just didn't get hard at all. is this because i'm not actually sexually attracted to men, or is it that my idea of sex is differend while dressed as a woman? i still jerked off about it when i got home, but at the time i just didn't feel that horny. anyone else have an experience like this? or any thoughts on the idea of having sex while crossdressed?
Ive had kind of the same experace happen to me. You might just not have been that in to the guy.
attraction isent always just about what gets you hard. often it takes something more than just a cute fact to get hard. there has to be some kind of connection there.
You might just wanna take the time to get to know someone and actually try to feel more like a women when your with the guy.
its a hard feeling to get in to the womanhood mentality
also try anal! That was always the thing that got me horny and made me feel most girly when dressed
I love having sex with the same gender while dressed up, oh god its so good.
Post ending in 20 tells me how I win the game.
Of course not.
Yes, 20 get
You cant win the game sorry bro
turns out, you can
the game exists in the mind of the players, but
Rule 34 of the internet states that "if it exists, there is porn of it, NO EXCEPTIONS"
there is no "the game" porn, ergo the game does not exist.
enjoy your freedom
>>305I'm sorry Dave, it does exist.
This is Video broke my heart. Please watch and tell me what you think. While we are on this subject, discuss your progress with being open about your crossdressing and bringing it into your everyday life. I felt uncomfortable going out in drag but i did not feel comfortable dressed as a boy.I think the best way to deal with it is to be open about it. However do not suddenly explode with feminization. I gradually started wearing unisex clothing (for me this was skinny jeans, halter tops, tank tops etc) I now feel comfortable wearing makeup, girl clothing, with or without my wig.... (even though I am growing my hair out, and i put em into these cute pigtails >_<) BUT i feel fortunate I have had this much luck. And it hurts me that there may be someone out there that desires to be who they want to be. Open forum, here people..
I'm still crying as I comment. Thank you for sharing this.
Beautiful video indeed. Even if I'll never know or understand what it's like having gender issues I can really feel the pain through this video. It's really sad to see that some people are considering you for less than human beeings. I know it's easy to say, but don't give up. There are people who are considering you as human beeings don't give a fuck about what was between your legs when you were born. (this high suicide rate makes me sick...)
interesting video... i was rather mesmerized and completely forgot what i was doing
Any one been catching this show on either TV or Internet?
Was a great show to watch while it was going around, and now that it's ended I can't wait for the next season to start up again.
>>202no, but now i will.
Shows great <3 Bebe
I know. Ongina and Shannel were my favorites at first but Bebe slowly won me over. And I have no fucking clue how Rebecca even got as far as she did.
My friend is actually friends with Akasha through a friend of hers that is a FtM. I watched the show since I knew someone on it :P
So, usually I love my tiny little city (or big ol' town), but I've hit a snag. The one MtF psychologist here just moved to the other side of the country, leaving the only TG therapists office in town grossly under staffed and booked out for the year. None of the GPs in town are willing to prescribe oestrogen, and my councelor isn't... Well, she's not a doctor. Why is this system so hard to deal with?
Sorry, I just needed to vent for a bit. Any stories about getting started on HRT?
>>107 btw, the reason for that is that they think it is healthier and less harmful to do it under supervision
Yeah, I'm thinking the only way I'll get hormones anytime soon is to get them without a prescription. I'm willing to wait, play the game, do things properly, but like I said, there's only one option for TGs around here, and it's all booked up for the long haul. I don't like messing with the rules for something so serious as this, but I can't do anything here, and I can't move.
>>108I got a letter of recommendation in two months by these means.
Huzzah! I found a local gender friendly doctor. He's even close by, and taking new patients!
I've been seeying a therapist for half a year and on the first day I said "I want an endicronologist" but she was reluctant and at the time I was still having some doubts.
I havent seen her in half a year now, time I used to see if I really wanted to go through with it, well now I just have sent her an email asking for an endicrinologist again, but she hasnt replied yet.
Also in my country there's a huge group of psychologists that doesnt help traps, only full op transsexuals, so if this one doesn't help me I'll have a pretty hard time too D:
I'dd have to go explaining myself over and over untill someone finally believes me... this sucks
When I say I want to take estrogen, the only person I can't convince I don't want a sex change is my mother. Our conversations get louder til she pretends to accept it, changes the subject, then leaves. Parents, huh?
I'm 50 now, finally started estrogen and spironolactone last year at age 49. Started really slowly with the help of a TG-friendly GP, gradually increased from 1mg E to 2mg and grew some man-boobs 8^) What's really strange is, it totally killed my passion for cross-dressing.
Move out of the sticks. Problem solved.
No need. Psychologist is writing my letter of reccomendation to my endo. Now all I need to do is tough it out til I can see him in July
>>185every cde poster
Anyone have experience with gender identity counseling? I'm gonna make some appointments, but I'd like to know what I'm in for first if I can.
I'm an ftm, but I figure gender counseling is the just about the same for everyone. I've been going to GID specific therapy for three years now. It's basically like regular therapy/counseling but generally centered around gender and related isssues. Going in they'll want to know background info like your childhood, growing up, first issues with your gender, general infomation about your family and other relationships, what your current situation is, and your goals. After that, you'll be able to set up a treatment plan. This could be anything from general talk therapy to moving towards getting letters for SRS, HRT, etc. Don't be nervous, just be yourself and try not to hold anything relevant back. Good luck and I hope this helped. :)
What about DIY'ing my hormones? Stupid, risky, unpredictable...? What are your experiences?
I wouldn't recommend it as a med student. It can be potentially dangerous especially because one usually doesn't know their hormone, cholesterol, etc levels and how to prescribe accordingly.
I personally wouldn't do it as a transperson because it could possibly hurt me in the long run from receiving letters for surgery, changing my gender marker on my DL, etc if they thought I would be irresponsible and unwilling to do things legally (by the WPATH-SOC).
Counseling in my experience is like a regular conversation with someone who starts out as a complete open minded stranger.
As time progresses, the person you're talking to knows you more and more, and starts to help you see connections between the things you're talking about, and occasionally steers the conversation down avenues you wouldn't consider, by looking at obvious repeating themes in your thoughts and attitudes.
It's pretty fucking awesome actually and I need to start seeing my counselor again soon. I love how I start out with an attitude of "I don't know you, I've got nothing to prove and I don't give a fuck." to feeling like I can really open up to this person who has a responsibility to help guide you and keep you sane and healthy.
Also, see Tony Soprano's experiences in therapy for an amusing but not really inaccurate idea of the format.
I'm sixteen and I think I'm trans. I got some girls clothes from a friend. Any advice for an underage possible trans. Possibly how to get clothes?
Clothes and such are fine, but I'd look into working on maybe figuring out if you really are trans or not. What would you think if your parents found out? Would they be willing to get you into talking with a therapist over such matters?
Also, for clothing, I tend to buy a lot of what I wear at local thrift stores. It's awkward at times, but if you have a friend who can help you, it's a lot more comforting, and less of a fearful "person who knows me might find me."
Really, "it's for a costume," or "It's for a play" really answers any doubt in a stranger's eyes. So you can go to any store and pull that.
I'm in college though, and I live away from home. So I don't really care if the shop clerks think I'm weird or not. They'll look at me weird at times, but they mostly just don't care when you get down to it.
My dad is openly gay and super open. He wouldn't care but but mom is an evangelical pastor. She's not homophobic but anything even beyond faggy and she gets all judgemental. I think I'm trans but I don't know HOW to know for sure.
Try talking to your dad about it then. Being sure is something that comes with the help of hours of inner reflection, experimentation, and usually a lot of counseling.
You don't have to rush your way towards it. I grapple with the fact I have doubts even today. Most of us do, I think. Gender isn't that set in stone, and while I do like being a girl, I hardly think that I act girly enough to be one a great amount of the time.
On the subject of clothes, can anyone give me a link to that site that sells long socks?
Also, I really want to buy a garter w/ the leggings. Does anyone know of a reputable seller? I've only ever bought stuff from one place, but they don't sell that kind of thing.
Learn to be comfortable with yourself, and accept you for who you are. Corny, I know, but it is possible even if you have little or no support, like me. You might have one supporter though in your father, which might make going down the road even easier. Keep in mind transgender is a very broad concept, and gender and gender identity is very muddy anyways.
As for garters, Fredericks of Hollywood has them. Also, the brick and mortar stores are extremely trans-friendly, but they do also have them on the website.
Spend a good bit of time introspecting, find out what you want in the long run, and consider all of your feelings. If you try too hard to logic your way through it, well I found that there comes a natural doubt with logic, as your mind will produce plenty of excuses as to why you -shouldn't- transition, but it can't defuse why something simply -feels- so right.
I've talked with more than a few people about a sense of identity, there is no sure way of really knowing. I find everyone has there own little self-identifying niche. Some people, "have always known" while others (like myself) one day just kind-of figure it out "hey, this all makes a lot of sense for some reason" even others take their time to consider it over the years until they are sure what's right for them. Just, go with what you're comfortable with and don't force anything.
As for myself things made sense in that I dreamed of being a girl, I was never opposed to the idea of possessing female anatomy, and I crossdressed because I felt like it. I just felt 'right' in girls clothes, and I ended up exploring that in explorative social settings (Halloween, parties, etc.) I ended up really liking it, and figuring it was proper for me.
Also, talk to your father, he'll probably listen and/or help in useful ways.
I've never had a problem finding colorful knee-highs at Target, but I'm not sure if that's what you're asking.
So I'm constantly seeing posts asking for places that sell specific female clothes items. "where can I get long socks" "Where can I but a garter belt" (nothing about who posted those requests, just closest examples I oudl think of) and I'm always a little confused. I mean, buy clothes where girls buy clothes. Target, Walmart, Kouls they all carry the cutest things and everything requested is usually there (I bought a garter belt from a Walmart before) One of the things about passing is having the clothes that every other girl is wearing, so you don't stand out. Find out where girls your age shop and see, everyone has a web site so you can check online, then you can even go in with a print-out of what you want, shopkeepers usually think you're picking up something for someone else when you have it written down, so no need to feel uncomfortable. When I was younger I bought clothes all the time and I was really nervous about it until I realized in a place like target, no one really notices, you can go about it without worrying about anyone, but go to a small shop and you may be the only one there and get more attention that you really want :) Anywho, just thought I'd throw that out there
How do you traps and passable CDs handle dating? At what point do you tell someone you met at the pub, cafe, concert, wherever that there's more to you than meets the eye?
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There are radical feminist segments which actually loathe MtF transfolk because they see it as a paternalistic conspiracy to reset gender roles by out-femaling females, and ensnaring lesbians and bisexual women into actually heterosexual relationships. I think there's a feminist festival which is notoriously known for it's "Womyn-born-womyn" only policy.
Yeah, but those people are a tiny tiny minority.
well it depends a lot also on how you already express yourself, and if you are dating a girl/boy..
I mean, I crossdress in public, so I wouldn't have that problem, but agian that raises the problem of girls/guy not wanting to date me due to crossdressing, a lot of girls think it's cute but a lot of girls think it's odd and weird when a guy is more girly then them. And it's so much easier to end up in the friend zone with a girl then it is to get closer.Anyhows, i guess a lot depends on who you date, it'd be easier to tell a man then it is to tell a woman, regarding dating, since if you date a guy, you'd be with a gay/bi guy, and those are a lot more open then straight guys to acceping this, atleast in my experience. As for women, it could be somewhat more of a shock and surprise. And might even put them off.. so before telling, you should dig around a bit and poke your nose in their thoughts, finding out their oppinion on crossdressing and such and what they think about it..
I guess what I would do would be to just mention it pretty early, cause if she then didn't want anything else to do with me, it'd save the pain of starting to get fond of eachother and then finding out she doesn't like you for it.
Yeah I agree with that. I came out when I got to college and tried to pick up on dating anew, but soon realized many of the girls I would almost be willing to ask out think of me as just another one of the girls. Really sucks.
I got a girlfriend a month ago, actually, but she tried to keep me from cross dressing, telling me that it was either that or her. Pretty much had to break up with her after that...
>>104 a quick tip (from my own experience) : Try to date bisexual girls
Easier said than found.
>>109 ok, agreed, it IS difficult :) I found some in scene locations, though. Just watch out for that "still interested" look when your eyes meet. works for me.
>>106I try, but it's hard to find them. they don't wave flags or carry neon signs that say "I'm Bi!" all the time.
>>113There is a litmus test.
Plant your lips on theirs. If they kiss back, you're set!
>>114 lol :D :D
Another thing that worked for me: Simply wait and look, usually they have friends visiting them there (in the scene location) and by their actions when greeting them you can recognize them. An intense or even french kiss with a man is usually a good indicator.
Sounds silly, but i actually did that and it works. Takes some time, though.
so confused where do i start?
also i just used hair removal cream foer the 1st time WOWWWWW this shit is great my chest is smooth as fuck
I need help with this too. Also, is there hair removal cream that can be used on the face? I have really fair skin with really dark hair, so no matter how close I shave, even shaving against the grain with a fresh 3 bladed razor, you can still see hair :< I was hoping maybe that and foundation could make up for it before I can get something like electrolysis done.
Some good reading that might be of some help:"Making Faces" by Kevyn Aucoin; widely read, very detailed"Color Me Beautiful" by Carole Jackson; to find what works for you"Miss Vera's Cross-Dress for Success" by Veronica Vera; a general info book and personal favorite of mine"Make-up Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make" (web)
And, if you hit up some vids on youtube, that's a good place to get some tips and tutorials on makeup. I know some sites also have a lot of makeup tutorials, but I can't remember the links right now..Asking a girl who is your friend is also a nice way, if you can.