Cross-dressing, Trapping

So, I've always been really overweight. I don't mean just like, a little, really fucking fat. Then I started weight-lifting for fitness, and now I'm like nearly 400 pounds, can benchpress 800 or more... depends on how many plates the gym has.

And I want to try trapping.

Should I like, just not even bother? I don't know how I could go from my body now down to the kind of petite, slender female body I'm thinking of. Best I think I can do is like, freaky body-builder lady.

I don't know my exact body fat percentage ratio, but I think it's something like 56% fat the last time I got checked at the gym, and I'm a little more toned now. So if you do the math, that's like 224 pounds of muscle...

How in the hell do I deal with that much muscle, and without killing myself? I mean, I've never even began to think about fitness in a way like this... I've tried thinking of jogging, but that would just make my legs get ultra ripped and nasty looking. Not the soft, subtle thighs I'd want, and I'd have to diet forever for that kind of muscle to waste. Toning would take forever, and I'd only really managed to get like, down to a normal man's physique, not a woman's.

I don't know, I feel like if Lou Ferrigno let himself go and then decided he wanted to trap. Completely hopeless...

So I don't know, is it like, just pessimisms or do I really even have a shot dropping down to like, a 150 pound petite trap?