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No.178 : Anonymous [2017-01-05 22:54] [Report] [SNAP]

Apple : You can still use CMD, you just have to dongle-chain 3+ apps to get it to work. Oh yeah, and that'll be $500. You're welcome.

Google : We've decided arbitrarily to change CMD to DMC, but we'll probably switch it back and forth 2 or 3 times in the coming week. Business dependencies? What are they?

Amazon : CMD will be replaced by a flying mothership powered by cosmic rays. (*Bong sounds)

HP : We've decided to sell off CMD and focus on shit people no longer need or want instead.

IBM : Spending 200 million on our own cutting-edge CMD app was probably not a good idea, but hell, it's just money right? We're IBM, it's fine.

Adobe : In order to use CMD, you simply have to sign up for our $200 a month subscription service to everything else we sell. What a deal!

Facebook : Anything you type into a CMD prompt is FB property and will be tattooed on your soul forever. #Progress. 'Zuck '2042

WSJ : We will no longer call CMD line input "commands", we'll just fill your screen with DOS and let the reader decide what it is.

Trump : I love CMD, it's the best for hacking. Very strong commands! Why is Bash so weak and girly?

Oracle: Now that you're using CMD, we're going to shake you down for licensing fees or sue you.

Congress: CMD is flawed so we should dismantle it without a good alternative in place. With fewer regulations and more tax cuts, the market will create a better CMD.

Samsung: KABOOM

Liberals: Trump loves CMD, so it's probably sexist or racist.

Conservatives: Liberals hate CMD so we love CMD.

YouTube: Please watch this advertisement before continuing to use CMD.

Wikipedia: !!!PLEASE GIVE US MONEY!!! "Command Prompt" redirects here. For the concept, see command prompt.


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