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No.213 : Anonymous [2016-08-19 17:20] [Reply]
>she said 3 and her best friend's bf is my bud, he told me she told her bestfriend 6

So you know she is lying and you're still together with her? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Anyway it could be way more then 6. They do all kinds of mental gymnastic when they coun't.

>he doesn't count because i was drunk
>he doesn't count because it was just a handie
>he doesn't count because it was a bj
>he doesn't count because it was anal
>those three count as one because it was foursome
>i wasn't together with him so he doesn't count
>We used a condom so it doesn't count

etc etc


No.212 : Anonymous [2016-08-18 16:07] [Reply]
>tfw Iraq war veteran
>tfw I fucked 4 yazidi women in sinjar bare back no pullout
>tfw I know 3 got knocked up

My kids are probably dead, thanks ISIS


No.211 : Anonymous [2016-08-16 16:06] [Reply]
> Be me
> Decide to kill myself since shit country
> Go to hardware store
> Pass Xray to enter
> At least they didn't do the cavity search
> Get some rope
> Get to counter
> Cashier says Ey Mayte ya need a level three security license for that
> Left it at home
> Can't serve ya mayte
> Walk out of store
> Local rozzers haven't caught me breaking the 4:30pm curfew
> Turn corner
> Walk into a group of five 15 year olds
> All high on MCat, Whiz, Herion Cannabis and Spice
> But even paracetamol are illegal
> Get stabbed by bright green knife, smashed with a baseball bat and get jawed w/ brass knuckles
> But even spoons are illegal
> Also illegal to carry for self defence
> Hospitalised
> Didn't pay, but waited for 8 weeks to be seen and came out worse then I went in
> At home now, 2am
> Dindu breaks in
> He rushes me with a knife
> Have tiny rubber mallet next to me in my toolbox
> Got a level 7 builders license motherfucker
> Pick it up
> Dindu stops, walks out if house and goes home
> Mad
> Throw mallet at window

Comment too long. Click here for full text.


No.205 : Anonymous [2015-08-05 14:49] [Reply]

Oh, for fuck's sake, give it a rest, you fucking dinosaurs.

Building and compiling your own shit made sense back in the fucking 80's when it was the only way to build custom solutions to your problems.

But we don't live in the fucking dark ages anymore. There's off-the-shelf (yes, proprietary) software built to fit just about any goddamn scenario you can dream of with a minimum of fuss.

No, Mr Stallman, you don't need to build your own fucking printer software to alert you that the tray is empty. They just fucking do that now.

You know what you fags are? Fucking ricers. That's fucking it. You're the computer equivalent of a kid that puts a pointless three foot spoiler on a Honda Civic and calls it "custom."

No.210 : Anonymous [2016-08-15 14:10] []

IT guys are disgusting. Nothing but neckbearded loafs that do all the behind-the-scenes work. Nobody can even tell if they're accomplishing anything, their production is pointless. Just get it back up if and when it goes down. That's it, and that's all it'll be. They need to get it through their thick head. The co-workers erase your work, they don't invite you to lunch, the don't look at you in the hallway. When things run smoothly, no one wants to look at the network geek. No one wants to buy lunch for the dude who gets a paycheck just for showing up. He probably wouldn't want to go to lunch anyway, no matter where we go he'll complain that the burgers weren't made in methods that comply with the GPLv3. Or interrupt our conversations about our friends on facebook to point out we shouldn't even be USING facebook. Like, seriously dude, just get some friends.


No.209 : Anonymous [2016-03-16 00:48] [Reply]

I'm going to be honest, anon. I don't like porn, never have. It's all just so art-less. It's always obvious that the people who make have no passion. I don't like porn, and I loathe masturbation, and I especially hate hentai, because of how bad the anatomy always is.
That being said, what you've posted is great. Not because of the porn, but because of how adorable the characters are. Is this one of those doujins that's based on an existing manga? If so, which one? I'd really like to read it.


No.208 : Anonymous [2015-10-29 23:42] [Reply]

Let me tell you a little story, anon.

About 100 years ago, all the men were so fucking drunk they thought it would be a good idea to let women vote.

Then they sobered up because the first fucking law women made was to outlaw booze.

When their hangovers went away, they realized they were in the middle of the Great Depression.

While they were drunk, chicks also defined a pedophile as a man who wanted to fuck any girl younger than they personally were at whatever moment a man got horny.

It was like protectionism for old, beat up pussy.

Men stayed sober just long enough to make booze legal again, and then they decided to get drunk because women still wouldn't shut the fuck up.

80 years later, you were born, because men decided even old pussy was OK, as long as they were shitfaced enough.

The end.


No.207 : Anonymous [2015-10-29 23:30] [Reply]

Gonna tell you a story /b/, Chinese moot hates me so I'm going to post what I have already written and continue in replying

>Be me 10 years ago
>15 year old beta
>Horny as shit
>Middle of school year
>New hot Asain transfer student
>Speaks choppy as fuck English
>"Herro, My name is Akio I'm preased to meet you."
>Everyone says hello.
>She sits next to me at the back of the class room
>She smiles at me and says
>"I hope we can Become goord Friends!"
>Get embarrassed as shit
>Everyone laughing
>She just smiles and the rest of the day goes pretty normally.
>Weeks later
>Devloped crush on Akio
>Talk to her every now and then
>She speaks little English and her accent sounds retarded half the time
>The only friend I have is a huge nerd
>"Ask her out you pussy"
>After many days of him calling me a pussy I ask her out
>"I wourd rove to Anon!"
>Ohdeargodyes.jpg
>Ask her to dinner at fancy dinner I really can't afford.
>After school ask dad for money
>Mom died when I was young
>"What for anon"

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No.206 : Anonymous [2015-08-27 23:48] [Reply]

Who is this semen demon?
Who is this sperm worm?
Who is this boner toner?
Who is this spunk monk?
Who is this cock dock?
Who is this erection ejection?
Who is this dick tick?
Who is this cum plum?
Who is this seed steed?
Who is this prick chick?
Who is this cock stock?
Who is this seminal sentinel?
Who is this phallus chalice?
Who is this anus ignoramus?
Who is this smegma enigma?
Who is this beef curtain hurtin?
Who is this cunt runt?
Who is this jism prison?
Who is this ballbiting ballerina?
Who is this dongle mongle?
Who is this penis machinist?
Who is this chin chin bin?
Who is this scrotum sorceress?
Who is this wiener cleaner?
Who is this pole populator?
Who is this stiffy stimulator?
Who is this pillar pimper?
Who is this column culminator?
Who is this testicle tamer?
Who is this sperm specialist?

Comment too long. Click here for full text.


No.204 : Anonymous [2015-07-31 15:35] [Reply]
>/b/ would fuck a furry feminist
>/b/ would fuck a fat feminist
>/b/ would fuck your sister
>/b/ would fuck your mom
>/b/ would fuck your grandmother
>/b/ would fuck you
>/b/ would fuck your grandpa
>/b/ would fuck your grandpa using lemons as a condom
>/b/ would fuck your aunt Jessie with the squint
>/b/ would dig up the corpse of your dead uncle and fuck that
>/b/ would fuck your ex-girlfriend
>/b/ would fuck your current girlfriend
>/b/ would fuck you up the ass with a strap-on the size of your ego
>/b/ wants to know why the fuck you keep asking it if it would fuck something when you already know the fucking answer
>/b/ would fuck your dog
>/b/ would fuck your house
>/b/ would fuck a donkey
>/b/ would fuck a squirrel
>/b/ would fuck the hole in a tree trunk
>/b/ would fuck a horse, a midget, a goat, twin lesbian sisters, and Joan Rivers without her makeup on a liferaft while playing Moon River on a badly tuned ukulele
>/b/ would fuck the sidewalk
>/b/ would fuck an electric eel on its period
>/b/ would fuck a dead kitten
>/b/ would fuck a lactating shark
>/b/ would fuck an octopus
>/b/ would fuck mud if it thought it would wiggle
>/b/ would fuck anything it can see, think, or imagine
>/b/ would fuck you, rip out your eyeballs and nose, then skull-fuck you while reciting Exodus while eating chocolate-covered deep-fried bacon to the tune of Rebecca Black's Friday

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No.203 : Anonymous [2015-07-02 15:58] [Reply]

Kid's got it figured out IMO

>What are the only drawbacks to being a pretty girl?
>getting period, having children
>Kid realized women are treated better than men
>wants to be a pretty girl
>grows up to be a hot trap
>more content for /b/tards to fap to
>there's really no downside here if he can pull it off
>get everything given to him for the rest of his life, and treated nicely.
>nice diversity hire that ugly bitches in H.R. would love
>gets to wear dresses and feel the wind on his balls whenever

I guess I can understand why m00t wanted to be the little girl


No.202 : Anonymous [2015-06-04 08:12] [Reply]

In the last year I’ve occasionally seen posts or photos that have been taken regarding the reaction to school dress codes, but they’ve become much more frequent in the last few months.

High schools across the nation are under fire over their dress codes, and frankly I’m really fucking tired of it. I get that social justice extremists have no concept of common sense, decency, professionalism, or ethical standards; but I’ve read the arguments, and they’re all cop outs.

I read one article today with the headline “High School Crop-Top Dress Codes Send the Message That School Is for Boys”. Yes, because crop-tops, short skirts, and other scantily clad articles of clothing are the only things not banned from most school dress codes, right?

Here is a list of other items that are included in most high school dress codes
No sagging pants
No hats, caps, or sunglasses
No coats between 1st and 7th periods
Boys must tuck in their shirts
Shoes to be worn at all times
No chain wallets
No studded jackets
No clothing with inappropriate suggestive language on it
No dying hair unnatural colors

Do you know why these dress codes are put in place? For one, because it teaches and enforces a professional code of conduct. Secondly, because these things are typically a distraction of some sort, and are otherwise unnecessary.

Interestingly, though, these people who gripe about the dress code have nothing to say about any of these other things. I’m sure they would say more about their dyed blue hair, if it could have some sort of rape culture message attached to it for good measure and be considered legitimate because of it.

I’m over this “weather appropriate” argument when it comes to crop-tops and skimpy shorts. You don’t need to wear excessively revealing clothing to stay cool in the summer, especially when your school is air conditioned. It’s not like boys are allowed to walk around school without a shirt on, or shorts so short you can see their balls hanging out.

Comment too long. Click here for full text.


No.201 : Anonymous [2015-06-02 11:21] [Reply]

How Talking:

  1. Nouns can adjective/verb.
  2. Words can't joining unnecesary.
  3. Adjectives after.
  4. Don't verbs unless ing.

No.200 : Anonymous [2014-10-28 13:10] [Reply]

"Al-Ghamdi also admitted in court to using a cane as well as electric cables in the torture/rape of his child. Hospital social worker Randa al-Kaleeb stated the child had been raped "everywhere"

>this little bitch might've brought shame to my clan
>this is sooo haram
>better check good. Better check if she didn't lose virginity in her ear
>now, where are the damn cables

No.74 : Anonymous [10/08/16(Mon)22:06] [Reply]

HOW TO BE A WORTHLESS, VILE, AMERICAN YARD-APE!!!!
Slink around, shuffling your feet and bobbing your neck like the lazy retard you are.
Walk down the middle of the street because you don't know what a sidewalk is for.
Hang out at carwashes and mini-marts because everybody knows these are the best places to be a dope, I mean dope.
If you're a nigger bitch, shit three nigger babies into the world before 17 years of age. This assures that welfare money will support you, so your nigger men have more time to commit crimes.
And give REAL honest black people a bad name.
Oh yes, make sure each nigger baby has a different father.
Bastardize the English language in the name of nigger culture.
Make sure that several terms have multiple meanings and others have ambiguous meanings and that only 50% of nigger words are even complete words. Real niggers will know what you're trying to say.
As a culture, make sure there are always more blacks in prison than in college at any given time.
Hang out in packs of 10 to 15 and make sure everyone acts as annoyingly as possible. This helps to promote nigger individuality.
Always talk loud enough so everyone in the 'hood can fucking hear you, and if they are niggers, they will know what your saying, bro.
Wear clothes that are 10 sizes too big, making sure the pants hang off your ass.
Park at least 5 junk cars in your yard while being careful not to use the driveway. It's OK to abandon them in the street as long as it's in front of someone else's crib.
Exaggerate every motion, every tonal inflection and grab your dick a lot.
Do drugs, sell drugs, make drugs. Okay, don't REALLY do this, but it IS what niggers do.
Turn your backyard into a junk yard. If you don't have a backyard, turn your mother's into a junk yard.
Travel around leaching off relatives, friends, salvation armies.
Drink cheap wine and malt liquor every day, forgetting that "malt liquor" is just fortified cheap beer.
If you're a nigger buck: fuck anything that moves, no matter how ugly she is. After two 40oz, even the ugliest, fattest nigger bitch will look good.
Be charitable and covet fat, ugly white chicks. After all, they're niggers too. They can't help being so undesirable to white men that they have to fraternize with black dudes on a 20/20 trip. And white ho's are a special trophy too, especially the not so ugly ones.
Spray paint everything in sight with scribbles that mean nothing to white people but mean things to fellow niggers (except niggers from another hood who will probably go after you for tresspassing on their turf).
Use the term "motherfucker" in every sentence. It's one of the most versatile words in the nigger language, being a noun, verb, adjective and complete mini-sentence in event you run out of thoughts.

Comment too long. Click here for full text.


No.199 : Anonymous [2014-09-02 13:56] [Reply]
>I was only 9 years old
>I loved 4chan so much, I had all the celeb pics and webms
>I pray to 4chan every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given
>"4chan is love" I say; "4chan is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for 4chan
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's 4chan
>I am so happy

He whispers into my ear "This is my board."

>He grabs me with his powerful hacker hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for 4chan
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for 4chan
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please 4chan
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>My dad walks in
>4chan looks him straight in the eyes and says "Tits or GTFO."
>4chan leaves through my window
>4chan is love. 4chan is life.

No.192 : Anonymous [2014-07-27 18:45] [Reply]
>Live in university
>Know generic /g/ level computer stuff, enough to get out of and stay out of trouble
>Friend says he is the computer god
>Makes friends with this group of asian tech guys
>Supposedly some sort of university club
>Go to one meeting with friend
>They are somewhat friendly speak some chinkinese, seem to mostly have LAN parties playing starcraft and shit
>See less and less of friend
>Get a phonecall one day
>You gotta help me man
>whut
>I already called 911, but I don't think I m gonna make it man
>whut
>Give me the name of a hotel
>Rush over
>fucking ambulances and police cars
>What happened
>Cops say nothing
>Say he's my friend, that he called me
>Suddenly, cops are interested
>Get taken for questioning
>Pretty much tell them this story
>Turns out chinkinese guys drugged him, stole one of his kidneys and his graphics card
>Was left in a bathtub full of ice with his desktop tower

weird

No.194 : Anonymous [2014-07-27 18:48] []
>Work at a liquor store
>Have display screens at the checkout so people can clearly see the prices, just like at the grocery store
>My screen is always flickering and shit
>Cheapest connector cable ever
>Constantly fiddling with it
>Vibrations
>A shelandwhale approaches
>Has bottle of cheap vodka
>Screen flickers
>Fix it, explain it's the cable
>Shelandwhale speaks
>"Sounds like you're good with computers. I could use help with mine at home." in what appears to be a sultry voice.
>Proceeds to deepthroat vodka bottle
>Fuck her on the rubber conveyor belt, pressing the button to move her back and forth so I don't have to thrust

TECHNOLOGY!

No.195 : Anonymous [2014-07-27 18:50] []
>Have girlfriend
>She is loose as a goose
>Have friend
>Says I'm lucky, would pay to fuck my GF
>Ask him how much
>100$
>Sure
>Tell my girlfriend
>They go upstairs to fuck
>Head to friends PC
>Swap our his 2x4 gig ram for some 2x1 gig ram I always carry around
>Fuckyeah.jpg
No.196 : Anonymous [2014-07-27 18:55] []

hot female classmate asks me for computer help

>brings her laptop to my dorm room
>windows is fucked over by a virus, fake programs and toolbars everywhere
>my years of experience installing gentoo >finally begin to pay off
>I start initiating the ritual
>cut my wrist and make a pentagram using the blood
>burn candles at each point of the star
>place the laptop in the centre
>at this point, the girl is furiously masturbating to the sight
>I boot up the computer and begin installing gentoo
>the room begins to shake as the floor cracks beneath the pentagram
>hellfire begins to shoot out of the laptop (powered by Nvidia) as I compile the kernel with all GCC optimizations enabled
>I grow horns and transform into the avatar of GNU/Satan
>I rip the girl's clothes off to expose her open source under her clothing DRM
>my huge, flaming, thorny dick penetrates her vagina
>she climaxes as the compilation completes
>I commit my GPL-licensed semen to her repository
>she accepts and produces my child with the soul of Richard Stallman, the harbinger of the year of the GNU/Linux desktop
>tfw I can now play muh free as in freedom eroges on Linux
No.197 : Anonymous [2014-07-27 20:23] []
>Friend has desktop
>Friend has cat
>Friend's desktop starts BSOD'ing consistently
>Figure it was cat hair, fan, overheat
>Get to friends house
>Hey anon, you start fixing the computer, I'll go get some chips and pop. What flavours you want?
>Head upstairs
>Begin dismanteling computer
>Pause
>Something is not right
>Look about
>Feel like I am being watched
>Keep working
>Fuck, why are these bolts stripped? Anon probably overclocked this shit
>Mangae to get it off
>Look inside
>Cat hair everywhere
>Scratch marks on compenents
>what the fuck
>Noise to the rear
>Turn around
>FUCKING SIAMESE CAT ATTACK
>Crash into computer
>Claws my face
>Pull it off
>Oh god my arms stop it
>Drop it
>Leave room
>Slam door
>friend comes home

Comment too long. Click here for full text.

No.198 : Anonymous [2014-07-27 20:26] []
>Know nothing of hyper threading
>Go to Best Buy
>Start asking questions
>Get referred to the geek squad
>Get told that isn't their expertise
>They give me an address
>Looks like fucking GPS coordinates
>Get told its a Land Location Number
>Go home, tell buddy
>He uses google maps and finds outit is a half hour out of town in the middle of nowhere
>I figure this is some Hills Have Eyes shit
>He says it ll be an adventure
>Go for a drive
>Arrive
>Generic Farm
>Farmer walks out of the house
>Grizzled older guy, like 50
>I begin, spaghetti everywhere
>Buddy is laughing, says we need info about hyperthreading.
>Farmer gives us a dead serious look
>Turns, beings walking away, waves at us to follow
>Heading towards large barn
>I am shitting my pants
>Friend is still giggling, albeit nervously
>Enter barn
>Sheep everywhere
>Some sort of automated loom in the corner
>Learn all about shearing sheep and harvesting wool

Had dinner with his wife and family, greatest day ever


No.191 : Anonymous [2014-07-23 03:26] [Reply]

Alpha as Fuck moment...

>In College
>Chilling in dorm talking to this girl who likes me
>She's black, so 3/10
>Says she wants to fuck
>Refuse, and tell her she has a bf
>She complains about bf etc etc
>10 minutes later I hear rustling outside my door
>Check the peephole, she's standing there
>I wait there for 10 more minutes until she knocks
>She enters and complains some more
>I tell her to grow a pair and to just breakup with her bf is she's having problems.
>She sits next to me on couch and tries to cuddle
>I politely say that I have to go to the bathroom
>I return and see that she is spread eagle on my bed
>Covered in spaghetti

This shit continued for 30 minutes, there was spaghetti everywhere. I refused to have sex with er, and finally she got tired and went home. Seriously, I don't get it. I'm really beta as fuck, and I turned this girl down... I told my friends and they said I was Alpha as Fuck. To this day that girl still wants the D, but I've been turning her down everytime.


No.188 : Anonymous [2014-07-16 19:40] [Reply]

No, that's what a shitty playground looks like. A "real" playground is 2 storeys tall and made of metal. It's also not wide enough for fatties to use it (unless, maybe, if they move sideways). Every bit of it is metal, welded, including the ladders and spirals and 10'+ tall monkey bars. On a "real" playground, you can climb every bit of it. Up and along the barriers, under the platforms (using the bars keeping the platform from warping), and up or along any other pole (especially the 20' fireman's pole). The metal slides don't fit fatties, either. Especially not the one attached to the top level. A "real" playground has a ladder going to the top level, from where your spiral slide also descends. The ability to climb and stand and fall and die from every level is what a "real" playground is all about.

They no longer make "real" playgrounds.

No.189 : Anonymous [2014-07-16 22:06] []

The problem isn't the cyclists, though. Have you ever heard of a pedestrian hitting a car and then running away?

Motorists hit everything with their death machines. They drive away as fast as they can. Another car, a cyclist, a pedestrian, a dog: it doesn't matter. They don't want to get caught.

North America loves giving away licenses to people who couldn't operate a tricycle without killing something. This is the real problem.

No.190 : Anonymous [2014-07-16 23:06] []

I'm afraid of walking alone at night, in certain areas of the city, as well. It has nothing to do with who is around, but who might be around, and I keep my eyes open and I don't do stupid things like walk through dark alleys.

You don't need to be female to be afraid of black people.


No.187 : Anonymous [2014-07-13 07:03] [Reply]

If all blacks suddenly left America...
(keep in mind blacks only make 13% of the US population)

>The prison population would go down by 37%
>There would be almost 50% less gang members
>Rape would go down significantly
>Overweight and obesity percentage would go down by 10%
>Average IQ would go up 7 points, putting the USA tied for third with Japan
>SAT scores would go up by about 100 points
>ACT scores would go up by 5.5 points
>AIDS and HIV would go down by over 67%
>Chlamydia cases would go down by 50%
>Gonorrhea would go down by 69%
>Syphilis would go would go down by 58%
>The average income would be over 20k more per year
>The amount of people in poverty would go down by over 30%
>Homelessness would go down by 57%
>And the number of welfare recipients would go down by about 40%

Sources:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_the_United_States

www.bop.gov/news/quick.jsp#1

kff.org/other/state-indicator/adult-overweightobesity-rate-by-re/

www.nytimes.com/books/first/j/jencks-gap.html

www.amfirstbooks.com/IntroPages/NonToolbarTopics/IdeologicalQuiz/Quiz-3-Commentary/IdeolQuiz_Answer_02.html

Comment too long. Click here for full text.


No.186 : Anonymous [2014-07-10 23:24] [Reply]

A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"

"Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi


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