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No.234 : Anonymous [2017-11-08 21:35] [Reply]
> Bill holds up an Erlenmeyer flask. The audience ooohs.
> "Now this might look like water, but it's actually an aqueous solution."
> Audience starts clapping
> Electronic dance music starts playing
> Adam from the mythbusters comes out on a scooter with colorful beakers and a lab coat.
> Bill and Adam start dancing with beakers, audience cheers
> Record scratch, music abruptly stops
> Zoom into Bill's face, "Now let's get serious folks."
> "Can you believe there are still people who believe in God, and not climate change?"
> Audience erupts in laughter, more applause
> "... and do you believe there are people who still think there are only two genders?"
> Audience is now dying of laughter...
> "Folks we have a very special guest here today to tell you why space is WOKE!"
> Neil DeGrasse Tyson comes out in a space suit
> Audience furiously clapping now, can barely contain themselves
> Tyson: "The potential for life is everywhere in the universe, Star Trek and Star Wars could be real!"
> Audience hands are now bleeding from all the clapping.
> Bill: "Well that's all the time we have today, join us next week when we tell you more about why science rocks!"
> Electric guitar solo, audience starts chanting aggressively "Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!" Their claps are now full repetitive nazi salutes.
No.235 : Anonymous [2017-11-08 21:36] []
> Bill rides onto stage on a tandem bicycle alone
> Crowd laughs
> "HOWDY FOLKS, ARE YOU READY FOR SCIENCE?"
> Crowd says "YAAAAAASSSSS"
> Adam Savage from Mythbusters is in the background throwing vinegar into a paper machine volcano with a disco ball spinning above him
> Bill cracks a glowstick
> Audience begins clapping and says ooooohhh
> Adams volcano stops erupting, his smile disappears and he looks worried
> Audience in unison goes "awwwwww" in disappointment
> Bill looks furious with Adam. This isnt the first time this has happened.
> Adam looks scared, has bruises on him.
> Bill walks over and starts beating the shit out of Adam Savage from Mythbusters
> "Folks there is only one thing I hate more than CLIMATE CHANGE DENIERS" he says in between open hand slaps
> Crowd is nodding their head in agreement
> "I fucking HATE bad scientists!"
> Adam Savage is uncontrollably sobbing under his desk.
> Bill Nye lights a snake firework on the stage and the audience claps furiously while chanting "BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL"
No.236 : Anonymous [2017-11-08 21:36] []
> Sneaky music comes on
> Bill tip toes out from behind the curtains around the stage.
> The audience says "Huhhhh??" in a collective gasp, not knowing where Bill is.
> Bill is in his Nyddler outfit, what could he be up to?
> Tip toes behind little 8 year old girl in the crowd.
> Bill taps her on the shoulder and she turns around
> "ITS SCIEEEEENCE TIMEEEEEEE!", Bill says as he punches the little girl right in the nose, breaking it
> The audience gasps as the girl screams, blood splurting from her nose
> Music suddenly changes, whats happening? Bill is transforming
> Bill rips off the Nyddler outfit and reveals his classic Bow Tie outfit
> "Ooops! Looks like my body was merely identifying as the evil twin, The Nyddler! Science folks, science!"
> Bill begins to laugh and the audience laughs with him and begins applauding
> Electronic dance music comes on, and Bill dances his way back to the stage
> Record scratch, cut music, zoom in to Bill's face
> "Lets get serious!", Bill says as he turns his head sharply towards the camera
> Bill pulls out out a torch and lights a flame
> "This may look like a fire, but its actually a result of a chemical reaction!"
> Biiiiiig ooooooohhhh from the audience
> Electronic dance music comes back on
> Bill freezes, then throws the torch to the side
> Bill begins dancing, as the torch lights part of the set on fire
> The crowd gives standing ovation as they chant "BILL! BILL! BILL!" (The little girl still bleeding)
> Members of the audience begin to catch fire and die as Bill is dancing away in the back
> The audience, despite being on fire, continues to clap and chant Bill!
No.237 : Anonymous [2017-12-13 17:23] []

Amazeballs


No.232 : Anonymous [2017-09-26 12:29] [Reply]

Recreating various outside crisis situations or not results in invisibility and speed,altering you and reality,personally affecting reality,your mind returning to the past(time travel).People who are acidic,nervous,shitty and others are being assalted,bleeding and puking acid.They're hungrily pulling and grabbing peoples sleeping genitals,thirstily turning peoples places into a hotel/outhouse and anally attacking colon cleansed people .Surrounded by the future,the past and nightlights,barking dogs,abductions,disappearances,suicides,murders,suffocations,draining energy.Being pulled towards the future or the past along with your iron coins and other materials your in contact with and surrounded by,people are disappearing,people are being replaced with clones,robots,etc,people travelling back in time are being attacked,getting into accidents or sending messages.People are travelling to the future and to the past.Aliens,people are visiting and sometimes leaving this world,which worlds and times are they from?They're stealing peoples DNA,cloning,growing and using the clones.The souls of the dead and others are travelling into other peoples bodies to be young and healthy.The things in the spectrums that have the opposite affect of the things in the spectrums that cause aging,retards,sickness,etc and there's the others in the middle.Some people know other peoples thoughts and are communicating telepathically,interuptions,influencing,scolding,interference,torturing and controlling peoples minds.People are communicating with other people through nightmares.People are using other people to say their thoughts.They're turning people into traitorous sex fiends or idiots by getting them to look at and/or sniff something or by injecting them with something,preparing them for what´s happening now and after(animalism),your suspicious,nature's,etc examples,stuck in this nest.They're waking people up again and again and people are waking up in this place and they're causing other sleeping problems and deaths,picking,poking,prodding,digging people with medical instruments.The TV creeps and others are accusing people of being criminals and others in a past life,threatening,hynotising,insulting and bothering people about what they are doing,saying and their thoughts,maybe they'll reach through the screen and your reality show from this world,concluding the experiments and cleaning the cages.

No.233 : Anonymous [2017-10-13 07:36] []

whoever wrote this must wear a lot of flannel and not wash often


No.230 : Anonymous [2017-09-24 14:53] [Reply]

Irish folks often have a surname that begins with the prefix "Mc."
Irish immigrants in the early United States became commonly known as "Micks."
The Irish are predominantly Catholic. The rest of the American population was and still is mostly Protestant.
Because of this, the Irish often sent their children to separate Catholic schools, and they attended Catholic churches.
In the early US, these Catholic institutions became synonymous with the Irish. Everyone who went there was pretty much assumed to be Irish.
To outsiders, everyone at a Catholic school or church was a "Mick."
The other notable group that was started coming to these schools and churches was Spanish immigrants. They went everywhere that the Irish did.
So people called them "Spanish Micks," which was shortened to "Spics."

No.231 : Anonymous [2017-09-24 19:07] []

...so it's not short for hispanic


No.229 : Anonymous [2017-09-20 15:24] [Reply]
>anal with some skank
>Go on road trip to Canada
>Be my buddy
>Pick up some pink haired liberal arts sloot
>Tells him she's not on the pill
>Tells him to stick it up her ass
>He does
>Tells him to donkey punch her
>He does
>Pulls her rectum out
>She starts screaming
>He starts screaming
>He realizes it's still wrapped around his cock
>Yanks it off and throws it against the wall
>It explodes
>He puts clothes on as fast as he can
>Books it out the door with her bent over the kitchen table bleeding out
>He wakes me up and we head back to the US.

Anal never.


No.228 : Anonymous [2017-08-06 12:18] [Reply]

Back in their nubile 20s, where these sour grapes spinster cows left them. 54 and "looking for love". Jesus fucking Christ the delusion is unreal.

Psychological projection seems to be a feature of the female brain gone insane. What women desire — male dominance — is mistaken by women for what men desire in them. But men don’t love dominance, or sass, or careerism, or ambition in women. What men love is younger, hotter, tighter. Something which these has-beens lost as a bargaining chip a long time ago. And now they claim the chaps they can get just don’t measure up, which translated from the female hamsterese means the only men willing to fuck them are naggers and low SMV dregs with no standards and no other choice but internet porn. In fact, many dregs would choose the Fap Life before laying with one of these sassy harridans.

Sass is tolerable on a 21 year old vixen. It’s boner death on a 54 year old matron.

Likewise, chasteness and likability are tolerable on a dominant man. But they’re tingle killers on a submissive man.

Dominance is Game and Game is pussy.

And pussy is life everlasting. Amen.

-----------

>man wants to live for a thousand years
>kids give him that chance
>52 yr old woman can't give this
>chaps today just don't measure up

No.227 : Anonymous [2017-06-29 11:06] [Reply]

ON THE MAXIMUM NUMBER OF PREVIOUS SEXUAL PARTNERS FOR A POTENTIAL WIFE:
By age,
Up to 22: None.
From 22-26: Upper bound is two.
26+: Upper bound is four.
After that, I wouldn't trust a woman who had engaged in sex acts with more than a small handful of partners. This implies poor future planning and impulse control, as well as a willingness to establish an intimate relationship through sex acts first instead of affirmation of mutualistic perspectives on the big topics, i.e. sex, marriage, children, religion, politics, future aspirations, etc.
Though, what’s more important than partner count (though the smaller, the better, with ZERO partners being ideal) are the circumstances which preluded her sexual encounters.

  1. If she has engaged in ANY one-night stands, that's a huge red flag. This is especially true if the one-night stands were actions of vindication (rebelling against the perceived prudery of her parents) or were self-medicating attempts to drown out trauma/rejection.
  2. If she has engaged in casual sex with what she calls her "friends" and not her romantic partners, that's another big red flag--sex is best reserved for a level of social intimacy superior to that of platonic friendship.
  3. Any public or voyeuristic acts of sex are a definite NO. A girl that willingly agrees to create pornography will probably view her sexuality as a means of garnering attention, and unlike prostitution, the voyeurism implies apathy towards the preservation of her PUBLIC image. If true desperation drives a girl to prostitution, she can still attempt to preserve an image of modesty by keeping her sexual exchanges as private as possible. A woman can't be a porn actress “in private”, since the very purpose of engaging in pornography is to profit from the accompanying exhibition of her sexuality.

No.226 : Anonymous [2017-06-26 02:46] [Reply]

They don't understand how to argue.

They're used to the idea that they should be right by virtue of their position in society or the position of some 'expert' they heard about.

So they can't break down the different aspects of what makes a comment funny or interesting because they get too offended by the notion that someone doesn't agree with them nor thinks that the experts they are referring to are respectable.

And by experts I mean people like Bill Nye, CNN, NYT, and so on, the people or groups that are respected by people on the left purely because they have some reputation of supposedly being respected.

So the most they can do is try and look at where comments/ideas are coming and going, while not being able to understand the underlying meaning behind the comments.

Part of their problem is that this worship of experts has led to a hierarchy that disallows understanding outside forces. Decentralized groups such as those that form on imageboards, twitter, or wherever else, become impossible for them to understand because they have no frame of reference due to never considering it necessary to consider things from an outside point of view.


No.225 : Anonymous [2017-05-28 01:04] [Reply]

Unscramble these words!
1.) PNEIS
2.) HTIELR
3.) NGGERI
4.) BUTTSXE
Did you get SPINE, LITHER, GINGER, and SUBTEXT?


No.220 : Anonymous [2017-04-24 23:22] [Reply]

Whites are the real people of color.

Our hair varies from jet black, to brunettes, hair as yellow as a lemon, deep orange and red, and wispy white.

Our eyes can be hazel, grey, green like the forest, and blue like the ocean.

Our skin is peach pink, and turns to a red-rock tan when we're out in the sun. We create our own melanin only when we need it.

Every other race just sports different shades of brown. (((They))) don't want whites to recognize how much more obviously beautiful we are compared to everyone else.


No.223 : Anonymous [2017-05-19 00:22] [Reply]

Unless you are a Maori, Tongan or real Scandinavian Viking desendant you have no business getting tattoos. Those are tribal and traditional to a culture. Tattoos are the bumper stickers of the human body. Bumper stickers were originally the color of the car or amber/red to for broken tailights for people to cheap to fix them. Over time makers realized that they could make them cool stickers or "Obama/Bernie" stickers. Bumper stickers, body kits, and stereotypical flames are done to hide the cheapness of the a vehicle. Think about this. When was the last time anyone put on bumper stickers, body kits, flames on a Ferrari, Lamborgini, Yacht, Porshe? Never, why? Because those cars are super valuable. No one has to prove their worth. The makers know the value of the product they sell. When was the last time you ever saw a commercial or ad for them? Never, why? Because they sell themselves. Cheap brand makers constantly advertise their cheap products to convince you they are valuable.

Tattoos are the bumper stickers, flames, and body kits of the cheap person. A person who knows how uninteresting, unintellectual, and how boring they are. So they use tattoos to hide or distract you from this. It is the sign of lack of foresight, lack of wisdom, lack of self-respect, low-self esteem, insecurity, and self-hatred.


No.222 : Anonymous [2017-04-25 11:57] [Reply]

Dihydrogen Monoxide Warning

                    Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide!
                           The Invisible Killer

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

* is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain
* contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
* may cause severe burns.
* contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
* accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
* may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
* has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Contamination Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

* as an industrial solvent and coolant.
* in nuclear power plants.
* in the production of Styrofoam.

Comment too long. Click here for full text.


No.218 : Anonymous [2017-04-24 23:08] [Reply]
>Children's Lemonade Stand Robbed
>has to be niggers
>check article
>it's a nigger
>google 'lemonade stand robbery'
>find numerous different instances of lemonade stands being robbed
>find stories about girl scouts being robbed while selling cookies
>niggers
No.219 : Anonymous [2017-04-24 23:11] []
>uses "muh dick" because he has literally nothing else
>no accomplishments, no history, no geniuses, just "muh dick"
>because people who brag about the size of their dicks on the internet surely aren't insecure
>oh wait, actual medical data shows that blacks in Africa have dicks that average around 4.5"
>blacks in America have the biggest dicks of all blacks... and an average of 20% white ancestry
>American blacks average 6.2"
>American whites average 6.0"
>niggers claim "muh dick" while having less than a quarter inch more on average
>meanwhile, data from dating sites shows that whites, asians, arabs, hispanics, and EVEN OTHER BLACKS all rate blacks at the very bottom for attractiveness
>every group selects either their own race or whites as the most attractive... except for blacks, who rate whites most attractive and their own race as least attractive
>Average black-on-white rapes per year: 30,000
>Average white-on-black rapes per year: 0

No.217 : Anonymous [2017-04-19 01:00] [Reply]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Newtonian? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at McGill University, and I’ve been involved in numerous scientific papers on mythology, and I have over 300 confirmed citations on ResearchGate. I am trained in neuropsychology and I’m the top tenured humanities professor in the entire University of Toronto. You are nothing to me but just another non-binary pronoun. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen even in a Soviet gulag, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with defining truth to me over the Internet? Think again, neo-marxist. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of psychiatrists across Canada and your archetype is being analyzed right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your super-ego. You’re fucking individuated, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can analyze you with over seven hundred different psychotherapy techniques, and that’s just with my lecture notes. Not only am I extensively trained in typology, but I have access to every edition of the American Psychiatric Association's DSM, I-V, and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable complex from the collective unconscious, you little constructionist. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” metatruth was about to bring down upon your hierarchy, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you bloody Newtonian. I will shit synchronicity all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, Pinocchio.


No.216 : Anonymous [2017-01-30 22:55] [Reply]

I'm a Native American from a small tribe of barely 2,000 souls in South Carolina. You don't speak for me.

America is the greatest country on earth. I, like most every other kid in my generation, grew up eating cereal in my Underoos while watching Saturday morning cartoons. My family was dirt poor for most of my childhood. We usually didn't even have cable and there were some times where we had to spend all day hunting just to have something to eat at all when it got rough because there was no work.

But we had opportunity.

My parents moved so my father could work steel in Ohio. I went to school and got a trade. I spent a good many years working trade with the Amish and contractors til I went into business for myself. I took out a loan and spent many sleepless nights wondering if I was going to make it.

Today I run a small business of 9 other souls and we're doing very well. I'm very well off and enjoying my life. I just bought my parents a new house that's very fine for them to grow old in not far from me.

America is a land of opportunity where the only thing stopping you is YOU. If you don't like it, leave it, but just know that you failed because of YOU. In America, no one is standing on your neck and no one owes you or me a damned thing. We all have our own problems and pretending like you're the only one who struggles is disgusting and disrespectful and un-American.

So grow up and put on your big girl pants and take a look at yourself. If you want to keep failing, leave my country.

But leave it knowing YOU failed yourself - America didn't fail you.


No.215 : Anonymous [2016-12-28 12:06] [Reply]

I would like to share my holiday story with you. Two years ago, I became violently ill and was diagnosed with heart failure. I was informed that I would require a heart transplant from a compatible donor or I would slowly die. After a long wait on the donor list, I was notified just a few days before Christmas that a donor was found and that it was my time to receive a transplant that would save my life. You can only imagine my joy, that I could live on as a result of this surgery. I met with the doctors to discuss the transplant and was excited to receive a new heart.
However, my joy quickly turned to sorrow as I learned the details of the transplant and the donor. On moral grounds, I could not accept the heart, and I had to decline while thanking the doctors for their time. It is unlikely that I will get another opportunity to receive a transplant, but it was the right decision to make. I am a black man, and I learned that the donor was white. Accepting the transplant would put a white heart, white DNA, and part of a white man inside of me. This would contaminate my blackness and make me partially white, something I could not accept.
My ancestors were forced into slave boats in Africa by white men. Those white men sold them to the highest bidder, another white man. Those white men beat and tortured my ancestors, treating them as less than inferior. Even after the slaves were freed, white men sought to continue the oppression. White people are clearly less than human, otherwise they could not treat other human beings in that manner. As a matter of principle, in preserving my racial purity and humanity, I could not accept a donation from a white man. It would contaminate me with subhuman DNA and make part of me much less than human, something I could not live with. Faced with destroying my racial purity or facing death, I proudly chose to decline the transplant. It is sad knowing that my chance at a heart transplant is gone, but I am grateful to have preserved my racial purity.
Thank you for reading. I trust that all of you will know and understand that I made the right decision. At least I have the joy, this holiday season, of knowing that I will die with my racial purity intact.


No.214 : Anonymous [2016-12-15 00:57] [Reply]
>When they say "I am a black person", they are proud niggers, and they think that is OK.
>When they say "I am a muslim", they are proud terrorists, and they think that is OK.
>When they say "I am a feminist", they are proud nazi-warriors, and they think that is OK.
>When they say "I am a trans ", they are proud weirdos, and they think that is OK.
>When they say "I am a gay person", they are proud faggots, and they think that is OK.
>When they say "I am a big person", they are proud snorlaxes, and they think that is OK.
>When they say "I was drunk", they are proud victims, and they think that is OK.
>When they say "I am gender fluid", they are proud schizophrenians, and they think that is OK.
>But when I say "I am white", or "I am englishman", or "I am a male", or "I am able-bodied", or "I am christian", or "I am straight", they think that is n-o-t OK. Because then I am a racist, or a rapist, or an patriarchist, or an oppressor, or a homophobe, or a fat shamer, in one way or another.

Now, where the fuck is the logic in that?


No.213 : Anonymous [2016-08-19 17:20] [Reply]
>she said 3 and her best friend's bf is my bud, he told me she told her bestfriend 6

So you know she is lying and you're still together with her? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Anyway it could be way more then 6. They do all kinds of mental gymnastic when they coun't.

>he doesn't count because i was drunk
>he doesn't count because it was just a handie
>he doesn't count because it was a bj
>he doesn't count because it was anal
>those three count as one because it was foursome
>i wasn't together with him so he doesn't count
>We used a condom so it doesn't count

etc etc


No.212 : Anonymous [2016-08-18 16:07] [Reply]
>tfw Iraq war veteran
>tfw I fucked 4 yazidi women in sinjar bare back no pullout
>tfw I know 3 got knocked up

My kids are probably dead, thanks ISIS


No.211 : Anonymous [2016-08-16 16:06] [Reply]
> Be me
> Decide to kill myself since shit country
> Go to hardware store
> Pass Xray to enter
> At least they didn't do the cavity search
> Get some rope
> Get to counter
> Cashier says Ey Mayte ya need a level three security license for that
> Left it at home
> Can't serve ya mayte
> Walk out of store
> Local rozzers haven't caught me breaking the 4:30pm curfew
> Turn corner
> Walk into a group of five 15 year olds
> All high on MCat, Whiz, Herion Cannabis and Spice
> But even paracetamol are illegal
> Get stabbed by bright green knife, smashed with a baseball bat and get jawed w/ brass knuckles
> But even spoons are illegal
> Also illegal to carry for self defence
> Hospitalised
> Didn't pay, but waited for 8 weeks to be seen and came out worse then I went in
> At home now, 2am
> Dindu breaks in
> He rushes me with a knife
> Have tiny rubber mallet next to me in my toolbox
> Got a level 7 builders license motherfucker
> Pick it up
> Dindu stops, walks out if house and goes home
> Mad
> Throw mallet at window

Comment too long. Click here for full text.


No.205 : Anonymous [2015-08-05 14:49] [Reply]

Oh, for fuck's sake, give it a rest, you fucking dinosaurs.

Building and compiling your own shit made sense back in the fucking 80's when it was the only way to build custom solutions to your problems.

But we don't live in the fucking dark ages anymore. There's off-the-shelf (yes, proprietary) software built to fit just about any goddamn scenario you can dream of with a minimum of fuss.

No, Mr Stallman, you don't need to build your own fucking printer software to alert you that the tray is empty. They just fucking do that now.

You know what you fags are? Fucking ricers. That's fucking it. You're the computer equivalent of a kid that puts a pointless three foot spoiler on a Honda Civic and calls it "custom."

No.210 : Anonymous [2016-08-15 14:10] []

IT guys are disgusting. Nothing but neckbearded loafs that do all the behind-the-scenes work. Nobody can even tell if they're accomplishing anything, their production is pointless. Just get it back up if and when it goes down. That's it, and that's all it'll be. They need to get it through their thick head. The co-workers erase your work, they don't invite you to lunch, the don't look at you in the hallway. When things run smoothly, no one wants to look at the network geek. No one wants to buy lunch for the dude who gets a paycheck just for showing up. He probably wouldn't want to go to lunch anyway, no matter where we go he'll complain that the burgers weren't made in methods that comply with the GPLv3. Or interrupt our conversations about our friends on facebook to point out we shouldn't even be USING facebook. Like, seriously dude, just get some friends.


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