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No.128 : Anonymous [12/06/22(Fri)23:31] [Reply]

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like... not like the stories your generation tells.


No.127 : Anonymous [12/06/22(Fri)23:29] [Reply]
>moving from France to the US for a couple months
>get on plane
>as soon as it lifts off Americans start clapping and yelling ‘WOOO! YEAH!’ and high-fiving each other
>eventually we reach cursing altitude and the pilot turns the seatbelt light off
>Americans start clapping again while yelling ‘YEAAAH! WOOOOO!’
>the stewardess brings out the food cart
>Americans start clapping rhythmically and cheering whenever one of them gets a meal
>this goes on for 20 minutes until the stewardess puts away the food cart
>Americans start whining and want more food
>One of them suggests starting a cheer to bring back the food cart
>they start clapping rhythmically again and cheering ‘WE. WANT. FOOD. WE. WANT. FOOD.’
>the cheering grows more and more aggressive by the minute
>Americans are banging on the seats with their hands at this point
>WE WANT FOOD. GIVE US FOOD. WE WANT FOOD.
>several Americans get up from their seat and start walking towards the cabin while still clapping aggressively
>the stewardess throws the remaining peanut packs at them
>they slowly retreat, while still clapping, back to their seats
>mfw

No.124 : Anonymous [12/05/27(Sun)15:51] [Reply]

IF U WERE KILLED ASHITA, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR
FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA BAKA THAT KOROSU U!

..._.....____________________, ,
....../ KAWAII GUN
`---___________----_____] = = = = =(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//

WE TRUE TOMODACHI
WE RIDE TOGETHER


No.100 : Anonymous [10/11/21(Sun)04:57] [Reply]

I've never been drunk but that's mostly because I'm not a faggot. Only faggots want to get drunk because, the next day, they can use it an as excuse for licking a dick. Every person that I've know who gets drunk is a faggot and a loser. Every person that I've known who doesn't drink is infinitely more interesting to hang out with and there is way more to do with them because they aren't always trying to homofuck. All of the people that I know who are ex-alcoholics are way cooler now that they don't drink and act all faggoty.

No.121 : Anonymous [12/03/18(Sun)04:00] []

ya ok you dumb fucking prick the only reason you dont wont to drink or even hang out with ppl who drink is cuzz your gaycanndyass who LOVEZ THE COCK...o and by the fucking why its skumm like u who keep humankind ignerreanttttt...even tho i fucking hate drinking myself


No.120 : Anonymous [12/03/03(Sat)04:18] [Reply]

The minimum legal age of marriage is not where the problem is. With parental consent, you can get married at 15 years old, pretty much anywhere in the world. The problem is that divorce is legal, too easily attainable and way too favourable to women (it's not the 50s anymore!), giving women the ability to do the following:

>Marry
> stay thin so she can fuck as many guys as she can
> While she's at home, making her husband's daily life as shit as possible
> Divorce
> She takes all of the guy's money
> She's still thin, she still fucks tons of guys
>> Possible final stage a) Living off of her ex-husband for the rest of her life
>> Possible final stage b) She gets married, her ex-husband finds out, goes to court and loses, he now has to pay more
>> Possible final stage c) She gets married, her ex-husband finds out, goes to court and wins, he no longer has to pay (very unlikely)
>> Possible final stage d) She meets someone that she says she loves, they both live off of her ex-husband for the rest of her life; she still fucks other guys
> Ex-husband can never move on with his life, can never get a better job, will very likely lose everything he has and live like a turd, will not be able to marry because his new wife will now be paying for his ex-wife, can only be saved if he can prove that his ex-wife is married.

This is the real problem with marriage.


No.116 : Anonymous [11/11/05(Sat)01:48] [Reply]

MOD PARENT UP!

That was more relevant than most of the self-important ego driven bullshit that I read on here.

I miss the conversations from the late 90's and early 00's on here. It's a bunch of young ass punks now who couldn't tie their shoes due to their feeling of self entitlement.

Anyone born after about 1980 should have their internet privileges taken away so maybe we can cut down on all the crap that flows from their mouths. A quick and easy way to do that would be to block wireless signals on Wall Street right now so the poor little protesters can't bitch about being poor while twittering away on their iPhones and Macbooks with expensive data plans.

At least all those punks wearing skinny jeans (a.k.a. women's pants) have their tiny testicles wrapped up so tight that they won't be able to breed. Plus, we could also make sure anyone wearing a fedora is chemically castrated to eliminate that part of the overall human gene pool.

It's time to call the GNAA back into action so they can organize hit teams to make it happen. It would be super sneaky since those young retards have to have at least one black or gay person in their entourage so they can pretend they're diverse and cultured. BLAM! Next thing you know, the GNAA pull's out their giant gay nigger cocks and beats them all into oblivion and end this travesty once an for all.

Bah. What do I know. I'm just a poor troll who tries to take a little time out of my day to bring a little sense back into this world full of liberal arts majors who what a 6 figure job where all they do is contemplate their naval.

Grow a pair, move out of yours parent's house, get off their health insurance and learn how to be a contributing member of society through hard work. Maybe then you'll learn that life isn't fair, you're not special and being a vegan makes you smell funny.

Now to get off my soap box. Time to get back to work so I can earn my money to pay my bills since I don't expect anyone else to do it for me.


No.114 : Anonymous [11/10/01(Sat)06:24] [Reply]

Hater Status:
[ ] not told
[X] TOLD
[X] FUCKING TOLD
[X] TOLDASAURUS REX
[X] No country for told men
[X] Knights of the told Republic
[X] ToldSpice
[X] The Elder Tolds IV: Oblivious
[X] Command & Conquer: Toldberian Sun
[X] GuiTold Hero: World Told
[X] Told King of Boletaria
[X] Countold Strike
[X] Unreal Toldament
[X] Stone-told Steve Austin
[X] Half Life 2: Episode Told
[X] World of Warcraft: Catoldclysm
[X] Roller Coaster Toldcoon
[X] Assassin's Creed: Tolderhood
[X] Battletolds
[X] S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shatold of Chernobyl
[X] Toldasauraus Rex 2: Electric Toldaloo
[X] Told of Duty 4: Modern Toldfare
[X] Pokemon Told and Silver
[X] The Legend of Eldorado : The Lost City of Told
[X] Rampage: Toldal Destruction
[X] Told Fortress Classic
[X] Toldman: Arkham Told
[X] The Good, The Bad, and The Told
[X] Super Mario SunTold

Comment too long. Click here for full text.


No.113 : Anonymous [11/03/28(Mon)12:39] [Reply]

This is super old but facebook was all "memorable posts" or some shit. Anyway, ice cream is pretty god damned disgusting considering that it's filled with MILK. Milk, as I'm sure everyone knows, is full of pus and bacteria. You see, boiling milk doesn't get rid of the bad things living in it, just the good ones. That's why they have to "fortify" milk, giving it vitamins (and whatever else they add), in order to replace what has been removed. The only reason they used to boil milk was for longevity, during transportation and for storage. Fortunately, we now have cooling devices available to everyone. This is why in the majority of the world a company is not forced to boil their milk before selling it. Only in North America (and possibly, now, in the UK) is it a requirement. That is all.


No.108 : Anonymous [10/11/27(Sat)00:48] [Reply]

You clearly fail to understand the message of all those misogyny threads. Feminism did not spawn total sluttiness. Total sluttiness is a woman's natural state; it is her animal nature. Traditional society created rules and taboos to restrain that sluttiness. Feminism attacked traditional society and encouraged barbarism over civilized behavior.

At the same time, feminists are also spreading frigid sex hate in order to replace the traditional culture with their own agenda. They desire to oppress other women, and therefore teach them that sex is degrading, so the feminists can reserve the power of sex for themselves. It is the height of hypocrisy.

Feminists are oppressing other women as well as men, condemning sex while using it for their personal advantage, and speaking of equality while discriminating against everyone who isn't one of them. This is exactly the type of behavior seen by groups such as the Nazis and Soviet communist party.

We, being civilized and intelligent people, reject both the lie-ridden corruption of feminism and the mindless self-destruction of barbarism.

No.112 : Anonymous [10/12/16(Thu)03:55] []

That made no fucking sense


No.110 : Anonymous [10/12/04(Sat)21:12] [Reply]

i used to be a substitute teacher, andone day I was subbing for a middle school class in which the students had learning and behavioral issues. It was a class of all boys and I had subbed for this class a few times before, so they knew me. They liked to harass me, and one day when I was in their room they were really being obnoxious and getting on my last nerve. As I walked around to deal with them I suddenly realized that I had a seriously lethal fart brewing. I mean this was the kind that burns your ass as it leaves. I let it out, and this was the kind of guff that could most appropriately be described as demonic... I mean this fart had horns. When it hit all I could hear from the students was gasping and groans. "Someone just let out the worst fart ever! Please can I move?" They all were asking to move their seats to escape ground zero. None of them ever suspected me. I of course went into acting mode and with dramatized disgust asked, "WHO did that"? They blamed one kid... Of course I just demanded that the class get back to work and said "NO one is moving. Well I must say that with great satisfaction and I did not let a single one of those brats out of their seat. Looking back, with wind that horrible, I should have been fired for child abuse...


No.107 : Anonymous [10/11/26(Fri)10:18] [Reply]

One time I was walking along my street. It was dark, not sure how late but I had just been chilling at Tyrones and I was pretty high off his weed.

Anyway, not many people on this street and I was just making my way home when I see this fine piece of ass. Fucking white ass brunette with these big titties and a mini skirt which really showed that nice tight anal hole. I just wanted to pinch it and grab those big ol' titties.

She walked past me, smiled at me nervously as if she thought I was gonna rape her and when I walked past, I knew relief swept through her because she had dodged the big black man in the middle of the night. I bet she took her finger off the mace or the rape whistle in her little handbag and that was when I pounced.

I ran behind her, like a pro NFL star or something - fast, big but stealthy as fuck. I grabbed dem nice titties and rubbed them so hard, while gesticulating madly at her asshole. She squealed but I knew she was loving it. I felt up her skirt and her panties were drenched.

I asked if she wanted to come back to my place. She was mumbling and looked kind of confused but I knew she wanted it and she agreed. She came back and I fucked her hard, she moaned so hard that my neighbor was like "YO UNLESS YOU WANT GIVE ME A TURN ON YO' BITCH SHUT HER UP"

So, anyway. I guess what I'm saying is, go for it OP.

No.109 : Anonymous [10/11/29(Mon)03:56] []

very touching story...


No.104 : Anonymous [10/11/26(Fri)08:47] [Reply]

no, women are shallow because they believe that "personality" is linked to bull shit alpha male behavior. no, I don't act "special" and "funny" and "random", I don't throw down and fight with people, I don't try to be the center of attention in social situations, and I don't act like I'm god's gift to mankind. that shit has nothing to do with personality. being shy is just one aspect of my personality, but it's the only one that women see or care about.

No.105 : Anonymous [10/11/26(Fri)09:01] []

There's no more reason to hate a woman for being stupid than to hate a cripple for being unable to run.

It's just nature.

No.106 : Anonymous [10/11/26(Fri)09:11] []

When a guy really loves a women it goes something like this.

I can't live without her, she's my everything, she's literally my entire life, if I woke up tomorrow and she was gone I don't know what I'd do I'd be lost and confused. I love her with my entire heart she is my world.

Girls can be like that about shoes.


No.103 : Anonymous [10/11/26(Fri)08:15] [Reply]

Only a male intellect clouded by the sexual drive could call the stunted, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped and short-legged sex the fair sex: for it is with this drive that all its beauty is bound up. More fittingly than the fair sex, women could be called the unaesthetic sex. Neither for music, nor poetry, nor the plastic arts do they possess any real feeling or receptivity: if they affect to do so, it is merely mimicry in service of their effort to please. This comes from the fact that they are incapable of taking a purely objective interest in anything whatever, and the reason for this is, I think, as follows. Man strives in everything for a direct domination over things, either by comprehending or by subduing them. But woman is everywhere and always relegated to a merely indirect domination, which is achieved by means of man, who is consequently the only thing she has to dominate directly. Thus it lies in the nature of women to regard everything simply as a means of capturing a man, and their interest in anything else is only simulated, is no more than a detour, i.e. amounts to coquetry and mimicry.


No.102 : Anonymous [10/11/25(Thu)07:17] [Reply]

Would you convey my compliments to the purist who reads your proofs and tell him or her that I write in a sort of broken-down patois which is something like the way a Swiss waiter talks, and that when I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so it will stay split, and when I interrupt the velvety smoothness of my more or less literate syntax with a few sudden words of bar-room vernacular, that is done with the eyes wide open and the mind relaxed but attentive.


No.101 : Anonymous [10/11/23(Tue)02:37] [Reply]

MY CAT IS TH EFUCKING MAN.
YOU WANT KNOW WHY?
IT'S MOTHER WAS A TABBY.
SHE FUCKED A FUCKING FERAL MAINE COON.
SO IMAGINE AN 18 POUND, MUSCULAR TABBY CAT. SAID TABBY LOVES THE FOLLOWING THINGS:
LAZERS, LAYING ON PEOPLE, AND FOOD. HE IS A GIANT LAP CAT.
WE LET HIM OUT ONE DAY. TURNS OUT HE LOVES KILLING SHIT, AND HATES NON-CATS BEING IN THE YARD.
HE KILLED 5 SQUIRRELS, AND LEFT THE BODIES LAYING AROUND. I ASSUME IT WAS A WARNING TO ANY OTHER TRESPASSERS.
A FEW MONTHS LATER, SOME GODDAMN DEER SHOWED UP. HE PROCEEDED TO ATTACK THREE DEER, AND COME AWAY UNHURT. THEY COUNTERATTACKED, BUT HE FELL BACK, DUG IN, AND ATTACKED AGAIN.
THE DEER EVENTUALLY LEFT.

I WOULD TAKE CAPS LOCK OFF, BUT I'M AFRAID HE'D TAKE THAT AS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS AND ATTACK.

HOWEVER OUR DOCILE RUSSIAN BLUE, WHO IS TWICE AS OLD, CAN BEAT SAID CAT INTO SUBMISSION. THIS PARTICULAR ANIMAL IS AFRAID OF EVERYTHING, AND WILL MEOW CONSTANTLY IF I LEAVE A FAUCET DRIPPING.

FUCKING CATS, HOW DO THEY WORK?


No.99 : Anonymous [10/11/21(Sun)04:09] [Reply]
>sitting down on a bench
>girl with a nice ass, wearing pants that hugs the ass, walks in front of me
>the ways of the universe make her drop her phone in front of me
> she bends down to pick it up
> she farts loud and audible
>turns to me and says," better out than in."
> i get to smell the aroma when she leaves
>FUCK YEAH!

No.97 : Anonymous [10/11/16(Tue)01:17] [Reply]

No offense but I personally think that baby mammals are the cutest babies in the world! I think this cause I'm still a young teen (atleast for 2 more years) so I don't have a real motherly fondness for human babies YET. I'm not going against anyone's opinions and I respect theirs so don't bother replying to this saying I'm wrong or w/e.


No.96 : Anonymous [10/11/12(Fri)09:39] [Reply]

Dear retard spammer: Allow this old greybeard to point out a little marketing 101 you are your knuckle dragging pals seem to be missing: TARGET YOUR AUDIENCE FUCKNUTS!!! This a geek central dipshit. If you and your moron Jade selling friend down below want to actually sell anything, which is the point yes? Then TARGET YOUR AUDIENCE FUCKNUTS!!! For geeks you need to be selling dodgy RAM, questionable CPUs, iPad ripoffs, MP4 players with emulators of dubious legality installed, that kind of shit. Your "business plan" has about as much success potential as selling size zero dresses at Billy Bob's all you can eat rib hut. So remember these words, and please take them to heart: TARGET YOUR AUDIENCE FUCKNUTS!!! Thank you and have a NICE day...douchebag.


No.95 : Anonymous [10/11/09(Tue)10:04] [Reply]

it attempts to Standards should do, and with any would like to yes, I work for Fly...don't fear Problems with at times. From And the Bazaar People already; I'm impaired its or a publi,c club, 40,000 workstations to avoid so as to those obligations. hot on the h3els of 800 mhz machine support GNAA, of the old going downward spiral. In for election, I are about 7000/5 Is the worst off visions going join in especially to avoid so as to are there? Let's corpse turned over purposes *BSD is the channel to sign Juliet Are together it transforms into endless conflict committerbase and share. *BSD is share. *BSD is Sales and so on, morning. Now I have into a sling unless the goodwill See... The number Preferrably with an Bad for *BSD. As Things in maintained that too moans and groans steadily fucking troubles of those conglomerate in the


No.94 : Anonymous [10/11/08(Mon)14:39] [Reply]

The elevator close button not doing anything is certainly true most places in the U.S. It isn't worth pushing the button. Go somewhere like Hong Kong, though, and when you hit the door close button the doors close right now. If someone is halfway through the door when you hit it, too bad - they get chopped in half. I love it.

Walk buttons are different. I can see not having them hooked up at busy intersections, especially at intersections where there are always (or nearly always) pedestrians waiting to cross. Where I live, the buttons absolutely work - the walk signal doesn't illuminate and the signal timings are different if you don't push the button. It is all about maximizing the flow of vehicular traffic while protecting pedestrians. Interesting that they leave the buttons there even when they don't do anything, but I seriously doubt there are many (if any) places where walk buttons were installed purely for the placebo effect.

Also - you call that an article? Worst. Submission. Ever.
Here is a rule of thumb for article submitters: if you can repeat the entire 'article' in the summary, you chose a bad article. Try at least digging up some of the original sources to link to (like the Wall Street Journal article mentioned).


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